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Fresh, new, raw grief is all encompassing. Come here to help you navigate this new journey you are on in life.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. Hello all, I am new to this site; I am looking for ways to help me through the grieving process of losing my dad. I unexpectedly lost my father December 19, 2020. I have been filled with grief, pain, sadness, anger, and fear since he took his own life 4 months ago. My father struggled with mental illness for most of his life. My father’s side of the family, has struggled with mental illness most of their lives as well. My father’s father (my grandfather) took his own life (intentional death by police shooting) when his children were young, between the ages of 6-12 years old. My father, h
  3. I keep waking up early and the emotions hit me hard. We got my dads Ashe she the other day and that was a huge trigger. I felt like I did something wrong by letting them cremate him. When I saw him at the hospital, I had this intense urge to yell at the doctor and tell them they had to done enough. To come fix him. When I got his ashes, it almost felt the same. I was almost his caregiver, and he looked to me to help. He asked me for help when he wasn’t feeling well and I did everything I thought was right at that moment but I didn’t help him like he wanted. I keep going back and wondering what
  4. Yorkshirelass

    I'm not that strong

    Thank you, I pray you have that relationship. My gran passed away last Thursday morning and the grief ebbs and flows, sometimes I'm calm and I pray , other times I burst. What a massive loss, we're all broken. May god bless her soul and look after her x
  5. Raisha

    I'm not that strong

    How beautiful your relationship must be with her to feel so deeply. I'm sorry for your sadness and your loss. Sending you a hug and letting you know I appreciate what you have shared. It gives me inspiration to how it may be possible to have such a connection with my one year old granddaughter.
  6. Hello Dear Ones, My mother passed away on January 15th, 2021 after battling with cancer for 30 days. It was very quick and although I am very grateful for having some time to say goodbye, the shock of the situation is still with me. The reason I joined this forum is to be in a safe place with others, who have also lost their loved ones. I feel a real need right now for shared humanity. A loved one dying is an experience that I have not experienced before. Thank you for creating this group, being a member of this group and being a place that hopefully I can find some healing in as I bea
  7. Yorkshirelass

    I'm not that strong

    I was googling what to do to feel better to get past this not to feel alone and I found this group. I might not make sense, I feel a bit disoriented these days, can't remember stuff. My gran is dying, I'm just waiting to get that call. I'm in Germany so can't even be home because of this crappy situation with Covid. They've given her days, and I'm here alone trying to deal with this and accept it but I don't think I'm that strong, sometimes I'm ok I think of all the memories we've made and how she's lived a great life , a long life, my gran's 98, and ppl say yeh but it's exepcted at that
  8. Your right you can’t quit for them! I do wish I had at least tried to get her to take a lung cancer test, you could ask your father. It might have helped! I do feel better after I cry not something I like to do but after awhile I can’t help it. I am putting fun pictures on my phone to have anywhere and am making a photo album of her and the two of us during happy times. I hope to look at it during those sad times which right now happen at least three times a day! We lost our son 12 years ago and it still hurts but not as much as my wife because it is still a very tender wound to my heart!
  9. Dear Lee. I was a smoker as well, and I quit half year ago. Luckily I am still young (29) and I hope that my body will clear out soon. Cigarettes are really hard addictions. My father is smoker for at least 30 years and I must say that I am very concerned about him. Especially after my sister died he started smoking even more. I sort of understand him, simply because loss of a child is the worst thing anyone can go through, and then cigarettes give you this comfort. It's hard. We tried to convince him so many times to stop, but he just does not listen. Sometimes I think cigarettes will kill hi
  10. I believe in my heart she is in heaven! I know she is in perfect health and much happier now. I look forward to seeing her again! I hope she can forgive me for all the bad decisions I made while taking care of her! We both believe when it’s your time to go you go! She believed that and continued to smoke for years after I quit. I regret not convincing her to quit! GOD said it was her time to go home and nothing would change that! I think GOD protects us from the pain and emotions of a situation like your sisters. That’s just how I feel. My faith in Jesus will get me through this
  11. Dear Lee. Yes... That is something I think about often as well. I think how she felt in those moments when the car drifted down the hill and what were her last thoughts. Was she afraid, did she know her life is going to end and did she feel pain. I wonder a lot about where is she now and I am praying that once my time comes I will see her again. My other youngest sister was in the car as well, luckily she survived but she is living with awful mental scars seeing her sister pass away right in from of her. I don't know.... Loosing someone you love is the worst pain there is. That's why I hope th
  12. Thank you! I’m sorry to hear about your sister. I’m trying to look forward but my mind keeps looking back on the pain she went through! I’m praying for help!
  13. Dear Lee... That must be hard. I am so so sorry you are going through this. You are one kind soul being there for your wife when she needed it the most. I lost my sister of age 27 in a car accident in last July and only thing that keeps me going is believing that there is something beyond this life, someplace even better where we meet again with the ones we love. This life is too short for all the love we have for our family. I hope you can find beauty in something and manage to live the best you can with this. I wish you all the best, Dalila
  14. She was diagnosed with lung cancer February 2020. She passed this February 9th! I knew it would be hard without her but it’s 100 times worse! We were married almost 49 years and then she was gone and now I’m alone. It makes me feel better knowing she is not suffering anymore, cancer was very hard on her. But there are too many times in the day when I feel empty inside. I have been her caregiver since a devastating stroke 11 years ago and was very proud to take care of her. Funny now I can’t even take care of myself! Sorry for my rambling.
  15. Two years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. At the time I was only 11, and I had no idea how to deal with it. I wholed up in my room, piled my bed with stuffed animals, and just watched TV for hours. I did this for months, and I just sat there in this dark pit of despair. Now, I still don’t know how to deal with this. I have to go to school now (it was during the summer before), and I have to do all my work for school. Still, every chance I can I lock the door to my room, and pull out the stuffed animals. The pain comes in waves, washing over me over and over again, until I feel like it’s drown
  16. juslovly

    Who am I now

    Thank you so much.
  17. kay TX

    Who am I now

    Very sorry for your loss!
  18. kay TX

    Broken Heart

    Very sorry for your loss. For those of us who have been there know very well what the word 'pain' truly means.
  19. annie123

    Broken Heart

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 43 years in October 2020. So heartbreaking. I feel lost without him.
  20. juslovly

    Who am I now

    Hello, I feel your pain and grief. I just learned of this site and I wanted some answers about does it ever get better. My husband was violently murdered 1/14/21. This pain is indescribable,. I'm having his memorial service on 2/2/21, and I pray that I get through this. I can relate when you are just doing normal stuff, anything...and you burst out in tears. I'm angry, sad, hurt and confused. I came here to try to just find a connection because I feel nobody else understands. My days have been a blur, sure I have work (working from home), but that is a minimal distraction when everything remin
  21. Dalila

    My brother

    Dear,I am so sorry to hear this. I lost my sister aged 27 in a car accident on 28th July 2020. My family went through hell as well. I have to say that time will bring some relief... But it would be a lie if I say it will be a big relief.. It is truly such a hard thing to go through. I had the same feelings with God and faith... And I questioned everything. I still do. I live day by day slowly gathering strength to see some future. My parents... Damn... Ifeel so bad for them. I am not a parent yet but I know that theirs love for a child is greatest. I had another, youngest sister in
  22. mtaylor78

    My brother

    My brother unexpectedly passed away on 1/2/21. He had a heart attack while driving and hit another car head on. This has been very very very hard for me and my family. He was only 33 yrs old. I am mad at God because he took my brother from me. I do not understand why. It's very hard watching my parent's go through this. It's depressing and my emotions are everywhere.
  23. My precious brother, JMD (age 43) died two days before Christmas of a sudden heart attack. I live in Texas. Thankfully, we drove to AZ (to avoid planes), to see my brother and my parents. He was whistling the night before as he cooked red chile enchiladas for us. It was a perfect day. We listened to Bocelli's new Christmas album in anticipation of Christmas. I was so excited because I had customized a pair of vans for him. He loved vans, and this was the first pair I customized, and he never even saw them! The next morning, I got a call from my Dad that my brother collapsed and was not
  24. Dalila

    My younger sister

    Hey... I was searching for someone that went through something as I did... And found you. Same as you, I would never seek help online, I am ussualy the person that never even comments on anything online, but I do not have any choice anymore as sometimes I feel like going crazy. My younger sister aged 27 died in a car accident on 28th of July 2020. My youngest sister aged 21 was in the car as well but luckily she survived. My family suffered great trauma... Well we still are. I feel everything the same as you do. The difference is that my sister did not have any children left
  25. I lost my best friend/ significant other to Covid early in the morning on December 23, 2020. He was 74 years old and had pre-existing conditions. He was very careful to follow the CDC guidelines. He told me that if he got COVID, he knew it would kill him. And it did. His son exposed him, he took my friend out to a restaurant to eat for Thanksgiving. He wouldn’t wear a mask around his father knowing the danger, especially since his wife works at a bar. He would go to the bar to see her and not wear a mask. Totally reckless behavior. And I am angry. This person knew better, his brother told him
  26. Hi everyone, We are wondering what social media platforms you all use for grieving matters besides Facebook? Could you let us know? Just type it in here this thread or directly put a link in to the places you visit. We are interested in expanding our presence to other social media platforms to reach more grieving people. Thank you! Kelly & Elyse
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