So this was a click away from being just another FB post and then I decided to go into a different direction.
Update... after listening to this (the Summer 2002 mix CD) I can say I'm one step closer to rock bottom in terms of overwhelming grief and sadness. I hope it is rock bottom! Some of the lyrics eerily represent how I feel. "Angel of Mine", "Would you cry if you saw me crying?", "I do believe I failed you... I know I let you down", "Instead of making me better, you're making me ill", and this highly appropriate gem: "I'd walk a thousand miles, if I could just see you." (end the almost post)
Which brings me to the million dollar question... when is rock bottom? Twenty-six days in and out of nowhere (listening to these songs triggered it) I had my biggest emotional outburst yet. Crying hysterically. Punching a couch. Thankfully in the basement overnight outside of earshot of the kids. I understand that it is healthy to let it out. But how many more of these do I have in me before I turn some corner?