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CatL

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That time of year


CatL

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Well its that time of year. It was almost a year ago that DH passed away. The anniversary of his fall, I just couldn't stop thinking about it. In a few days is our wedding anniversary. Then 8 days later will be one year since he died. I've been dreaming more about him. At least these are not nightmares like some have been. These are more pleasant, more relaxing, more forgiving, and more loving. I'm not sure if its an okay to move on, or what, but I feel better in some ways than I did before. But the loss of him still hurts. I still talk to his picture. Though I admit in one dream he was in bed beside me, and when I went to hold him he just disintegrated in my arms. I woke myself up cry out loud "that's not fair". So I still miss him terribly. 

And I still haven't taken my wedding ring off. I just don't want to. I guess that's what I have to say, I don't want to take it off. I want to still be married to him. I don't want to be without him.

But I am and I know that. I'm not in denial over his passing.

I just still miss him.

 

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Gina Mahlan

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My forever guy passed from Covid in April, 2020.  I still wear my wedding ring, I have tried a few times to take it off, but just couldn't.  I remember the day he gave me that diamond 27 years ago, and I feel like I am somehow being unfaithful if I take it off.  I used to get up earlier than him when I still worked, and to this day when the alarm goes off, I quickly turn it off so as not to wake him  Then I turn and see an empty side of the bed.  Reality hits.  It's funny how things like that just keep coming up.  Hugs to you.

 

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