I lost my older brother Mike On 4/1/2020. It was sudden and soul crushing. I didn't lose him to the Covid virus. I lost him to heart disease and Vodka. He was all I had left of my "growing up" family. My parents are both gone, mom died when I was 14 and dad died when I was 17. Grandma who lived with us died three years after my dad. It was Mike and I against the world for years. He was my brother, father figure even though he was just three years older, my biggest cheerleader and my best friend.
Losing him was expected in way, but not how and the day it happened. He's been in ill health for years, he'd had at least 7 heart attacks, at least 6 strokes, had a bad liver from drinking as well as other health challenges. I have his wife and two adult kids, and I was married recently and have my husband and his family, but I still feel utterly and painfully ALONE.