Since my Father died, I cannot stand the quiet. It sounds too much like Death. Today is no different. I have not a thought in my mind; yet, my spirit within me is screaming for rest. I do not know how to describe this profound quiet I hear; 'tis the sound of God vanishing. To be perfectly honest; 'tis the sound of no God at all. This was not always so with me; I used to have Joy in God, as though He were right beside me walking through life. Now? Nothing. Gone. Dead. Where has He gone? Is the grief over my Father simply too thick that I am no longer able to hear His Joy? The Beauty I used to see in Life has been muted; I feel no Love at all. Hope has fled from me; Baby weeps and there is no one to comfort her. Surely, I think; Surely, if God were alive He would comfort me; He would assure me that my Father is all right. He would give me Peace in my spirit. But after 3 years this May 2nd? Nothing, but a haunting silence.