There are so many days where I feel grief has clouded my judgement.   My need to feel acceptance and love trumps my common sense. I know deep down that my course may not be the right one but I keep heading down the path nonetheless.   I am sure my therapist and nearly everyone else would tell me I am acting rashly and irrationally.   So this begs the question.......why?    I feel incomplete on my own.  Often I feel like I am empty.  I guess I am willing to except a half life built upon half truths and deception rather than being alone.   Maybe someday I will wake up and decide I deserve honesty and the type of love & commitment I treasured for 23 years.   But today is not the day.......