The fifth anniversary - Monday September 2nd 2024. It came and went, like any other day.

I don't know what I was expecting. The days seem to slip into one another and the emotional pain of your loss comes and goes. It's as painful on the 5th anniversary,  as it is on any other day throughout the year. 

Still, I can't grasp the amount of time that's passed since you've been gone mom. So many things have transpired - little things and big, life changing things. I like to think that somewhere in the cosmos, you are present and aware of what's happening in your surviving children's lives. I have held out hope for a 'sign,' delved into spiritual pursuits in the hopes of understanding the purpose of our journey. I've always worried about you being in some kind of in-between state or not where you should be. I still need to know if you're all right. So please, gimme something... anything! 

I think you know how much we love and miss you. You grieved heavily for your son (our brother) and you were no stranger to great pain. To this day, my whole being wished I could have somehow saved you from the horror of your childhood. But I'm holding out hope that you're with Dad and 'D' and that  only peace and love exist where you are. 

I'm missing you a lot today mom. 

I love you.