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Traz

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Anxiety tonight...


Traz

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Really missing my Mom and Dad so much right now. I've been waking up with anxiety and I think it has to do with the situation in Russia and the Ukraine. This would be something I'd call my Mom about and we'd discuss it at length. My Mom only had a grade 8 education but she was highly intelligent and articulate. She could have done so much more, had she had the opportunity. 

Anyway, she would have instilled calm in me about this situation. As a kid, I was deeply affected by that movie The Day After. For those who aren't familiar, it was a 1983 TV movie about nuclear war. It terrified me and I developed a full on phobia about nuclear weapons and warfare - so much so that I saw a counselor about it. I've always felt things very deeply and I couldn't shake the images and horror of what that would mean for humanity. 

We are slowly emerging from this pandemic - scarred, affected and many people are traumatized. Just when there seems to be a ray of hope with restrictions lifting, some psychopathic leader in Russia threatens world peace by his plan to invade the Ukraine. I can't sleep, thinking about it. Hence me writing this at 4:15 am!

Mom, what would you say to me? To not worry about things I can't control? I'm trying. It's hard though. Lol, the irony of you saying "Its not the end of the world" to me as a teenager, when I'd fret over something stupid like a zit. What if it is the end of the world this time though? What if things escalate to a point where they actually deploy nuclear weapons? 

My stomach is in knots. Please help me Mom. Please come to me in my dreams and tell me everything will be okay. 

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My daughter, Chantel, had major anxiety and I know what I would say to her if she were here....  Honey, I know you are worried and that's okay, but everything will be fine.  There have been a lot of things to worry about in your life and you always get through them. You can worry and have life pass you by while you worry, or you can put it to the back of your mind (as well as you can) and continue to live your life. You are stronger than you think, and you can overcome this fear, put the fear away and bring it out and worry about it later, go outside and take a walk, take deep breaths and put on some relaxing music.  Think of all the good things you have in life, all the hard things you've been through and let the world happen as it will, because it really is out of your control.  I don't know if my talks helped her, but she always called me to calm her down....so I'd like to think they did.  Stay strong.....  Dee Dee

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