Connor,

Today I was talking to someone who lost their daughter and today is her daughters birthday.  It made me think of your last birthday.  Decembr 15 2021.  I missed it, I had gone to North Carolina because your cousin was found dead and we are his only living family.  I was gone 6 days.  This threw you for a loop.  When I got home you were very angry with me.  We made a special dinner and you picked out an Ice cream cake.  You got your gifts --including your new phone but I could tell I let you down!  I don't know how to forgive myself for this.  You needed me and I wasn't here for you.  I know this is alot of self blame and guilt talking but I just can't forget that I wasn't here.  I am so sorry .  Just another thing to cry about.  I found the card I gave you.  I just don't know how to deal with this yet.

I will always love you

MOM