My baby pigeon died ;'''(

[Nony]

I have strong headache from crying the whole day and feeling so tired from trying to convince the people around me how I feel. First of all am glad that I found this site to share my pain for people that do understand! I’m so sad and extremely mad but I’ll do my best to go over it

My story began when I found a gray pigeon in the garden of my house. I realized instantly that he was sick (coz I have two parakeets and I know how sick birds looks like) and with a cat walking around there was no chance for that poor bird to live! So after long negotiation with my parents (which they don’t allow to have any outsider animal inside the hose). Eventually but after long effort they agreed but to put him in the roof. I said butter then nothing! so I build for him a small house and I was trying my best to care for him and after two days from observation and search I discovered that he had Paramyxo which is virus hits the nerve system and makes him incapable to control his head movement .So as a result, the bird wouldn’t have the ability to fly neither to eat or drink properly. I am not going to lie about it but I felt scared about the idea of holding him with such disease! But I told myself I should do something for that poor thing it’s not far for him to live like that! I promised myself that I would to whatever it takes to help him to go throw this. So I started to take his weight and made some measurement to determine how much he can eat and drink and feed him by hand. I read and prayed a lot. I even build for him another warmer house with lot of covers.

The first four days were like introduction for both of us! I felt something different (yes I have two parakeets but they were nothing like that one!!) the way that he was looking at me was soooo sweet (it kills me so much) ! I felt deeply in love with him. I was feeding him three times a day and checking on him before bedtime and warming his cage and with time he started to wait for me to feed him playing with my hand. He was looking at me in a way that I can’t explain it really melt my heart. He used to put his head between my fingers and sleep. I felt sooo attached to that pigeon. I was almost spending my whole day with him. Until one day I realizes there were lot of birds around in the roof (because of the seeds) so I decided to throw more so my baby didn’t feel alone. The second day like usual I went upstairs and opened the door of the roof. I found feathers sticking in the floor which my baby used to wait for me in ! Something hit my heart I looked around I found my baby lying beside the wall. I freaked out looked crazy & searched his house maybe it’s not him!! But unfortunately didn’t find anyone! I get closer to him and saw horrible seen that I washed I didn’t :’(( he was headless with an empty body! I was looking at him (you know that moment when you see something so terrible and your brain stops working) I run a way and I was yelling and crying soo loud. He was eaten by a hawk!! It burns my heart when I think of his last moment when he was waiting for me and then ran way to hide but in his poor condition he could go far!! It kills me a lot when I think that I may killed him when I published more seeds in the day before and got the attention of the hawk!! I feel so mad I even think of buying a hunting gun to hunt that bastred hawk ! I just can’t stop my tears and those images of my lovely pigeon his eyes and his dead body and last moment kills me and drive me nuts!! and my family laughing at me coz I’m over emotional but they just don’t understand what I’m going throw :’( even my fiance tried to support me but I feel he don’t understand.    
 

[ModKonnie]

Nony,

I'm very sorry you had to experience such a terrible event. I'm sure it was nothing you did or in the long run prevented. It's okay to feel pain and anger over the whole situation. Are you considering a career in veterinary services? It sounds like you would have the right heart for it.

 

ModKonnie

[Nikunj]

I lost my baby pigeon who was just 6 days old & I am so sad I am not liking anything & now I am starting to feeling unwell. 
I miss her so much as he was so cute just 2 inch in size.
I fed her two to three times and he would sleep in the palm of my hand.

It all started when I saw pigeon building nest in a tree in front of my balcony. The baby was hatched there in the nest & was so lucky that she had her mother caring for her for 2 days as her mother was always lying on top of her baby giving her warmth all the day before an incident took place when I was out of my house. A big stranger bird who had brown spots on his body came from nowhere and destroyed the nest. When I returned home I saw this poor baby lying on ground inverted and was about to die as ants were rolling on her. I immediately picked that baby and removed the ants crawling on her body and put her in a small paper cup. I put water on her & wrapped her with a blanket & brought her in my room where she slept. She was fine then. I thought to put her back in the nest but that stranger bird was still looking for her. So then she stayed with me in my room & began to feed her with a dropper but she so tiny(only an inch) & young(2 days old) she took a long time to digest a tiny amount of food. Her eyes still din't open.
I was in love with this baby as she was so cute. She used to jump a lot & twist her head all the time.
But today I don't know what went wrong I put her in a pouch inside my shirt & thought I should take her out. I put her iside my shirt and I started driving till I reached the park I found her dead in the pouch. She died of suffocation. I was state of shock & huge guilt and was waiting for to respond for another 5 minutes but she was no more. I could not bear it still I buried her religiously. Still I cry in intervals & my heart becomes very heavy as I am still missing her. There is huge amount of guilt in me If I would have been careful I wouldn't have been the reason for her death.
Forgive me Lord.