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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. Past hour
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hope you all had a peaceful Thanksgiving thank you for all your kind words for Steves angelversary
  3. My sister, TooDevastated

    I know it’s incredibly selfish but the thought of passing the grief baton or whatever never occurs to me. I’ll be dead. Either there’s no afterlife and I won’t care what is left behind or there is an afterlife and I’ll be with Kayla which outweighs everything else. You’re all better humans than me
  4. Today
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    Made it through Thanksgiving, overall it was a good day, missed Wesley, but was able to enjoy the day. Appreciate all your post.
  6. Sick with grief and guilt

    Hi Maria, thank you. I know you are so right, I know better than to put myself through all the craziness in my mind. I did not expect it to be so hard. And I didn't expect that my husband would have so many issues either. He never says anything - but he's still so sad and thinks of our cat everyday. I know we will find the right one in the right time. And I know getting a new cat will not replace the kitty we lost. Nothing will bring him back. You are right - I am making progress but it IS a complicated process!
  7. 2 Months Later

    Hi @Ema, its interesting that you shared this as I just posted today about trying to adopt a new cat after losing our guy a little over 3 months ago. We ended up leaving - it was just too soon. I think we were literally trying to re-adopt our cat and of course, we couldn't. We saw a 5 yr. old cat - ours was 5 when we adopted him, so we almost went with that one like a sign or something. We are that lost. He was our constant companion for 10 years and we are still grieving. So losing your soulmate of 18 years is not just going to be solved by "getting another dog." That was thoughtless. I know that we will get another cat (as you are open to another dog) but no other animal will replace them. The new pet will have wonderful qualities but they will be different. I totally understand how sad you are and get having her things around you still. It is comforting. I have my cat's picture on my desk and his favorite stuffed mouse near my bed. Be patient with yourself as you move through this process. It is terribly painful to not have them anymore. There is so much gratitude for the time we had and yet the pain makes us ache for more time. My thoughts and heart goes out to you.
  8. 2 Months Later

    It's just about 2 months since I said good bye to my dog soulmate of 18 years, an Italian greyhound, Yaffi. I've been doing a little better but still have my episodes of painful grief and loss of her. I've been pulling up some video of her I took this past year and just feel like she should still be here, she's part of me deeply. I told someone at Thanksgiving yesterday about her passing and they asked me why don't I just get another dog!..To that I firmly said that I Im not ready and that the loss of my furry baby soulmate could never be replaced but that maybe one day I could be open to a new relationship. I think this person didn't expect that but, what are people thinking when they say such thoughtless things?..and this woman had brought her own little dog with her!. Everyone has their own ways I suppose. I still have her food bowls and harness and leash where they've always been. Im just not wanting to put those away. They keep her with me. There's so much going on in the world, I have so much to be grateful for and yet this relationship loss overwhelms me. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but still Im just so sad. I just havent accepted that shes gone .Im grateful for this site to be able to put out My thoughts and feelings to you all who get it .
  9. My sweet Teddy Bear passed away

    I am so sorry for the loss of your fiancee and know the pain you are experiencing. My Charles was all to me your fiancee was to you. Like you, I used to ask all the *why* questions but after a while, you stop and accept it. And besides, perhaps it's not meant for us to know; but just trust that God's plan is always better than our plans. When my Charles left this earth, my worst fear became my new reality. I lost my forever best friend, my husband, my lover, the father to my kids and there was no turning back and my life would never be the same. Charles was silent; his eyes were forever closed; he could no longer look into my eyes and I, in his. He hands would never hold me again; his lips would never kiss me and his voice would never call my name or call me sweetheart. His legs would never walk into our bedroom again; his heart, the biggest of all would never beat again. You see, his body was not just a body to me, it was much more. I was so empty, so lost; I lost my compass the moment he died. Just a moment in time for some people, but for me, it a moment that stopped time. And even thought I knew and trusted God, every inch of my being pained. After a time, after I stopped blaming the world, and God, and found relief in praying, praying and praying some more. There was comfort in knowing that heaven had received my Charles and that he was not alone; yet I was living in my own personal hell without him. The thing about life after loss is that no matter what, someone is always missing. No matter what, you will always feel achingly incomplete. I know you miss him and always will; he will always be a part of you; but know that his spirit is where we want to be; with God; no more pain; where joy, love and peace are the norms. My Charles had some health issues and sometimes experienced pain and that always broke my heat. When he died from a massive heart attack the doctor said he didn't suffer - my prayer answered. Another prayer was that I desperately needed to know that Charles was somewhere OK and then I could be OK. In a brief moment, I was empowered by an inner peace and divine intervention that he was. As much as it hurts, please know that God is with us during this most difficult time of our lives. I do hope you continue to post to this website. We are all in the RIGHT place, at the RIGHT time, for the RIGHT reasons to help one another and thais t much bigger than we can ever imagine. I pray God gives you the love, inner peace and strength to get through this most difficult time in your life.
  10. Sick with grief and guilt

    Oh AJWCat I am so sorry , my heart breaks for you....Please, please don't blame yourself all over again .You were extra careful with your kitty and you always made sure he was safe. But you are not superhuman, no one is. There is nothing you could have done that you didn't do, please don't fall into this trap of "could", "should", "if only" again. I am so sorry that going to the pet rescue was so painful for you ....and that it woke all those terrible feelings ,along with your guilt. Try to leave your guilt aside, don't listen to it. You are making progress but this is a complicated process, be patient with yourself. I know you want to love a kitty again but it seems that your heart needs more time to heal before you do it. Take the time . (((Hugs)))
  11. Sick with grief and guilt

    Oh AJWCat I am so sorry , my heart breaks for you....Please, please don't blame yourself all over again .You were extra careful with your kitty and you always made sure he was safe. But you are not superhuman, no one is. There is nothing you could have done that you didn't do, please don't fall into this trap of "could", "should", "if only" again. I am so sorry that going to the pet rescue was so painful for you ....and that it woke all those terrible feelings ,along with your guilt. Try to leave your guilt aside, don't listen to it. You are making progress but this is a complicated process, be patient with yourself. I know you want to love a kitty again but it seems that your heart needs more time to heal before you do it. Take the time . (((Hugs)))
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Georgina----Thank you for your kind sentiment for Lisa's Angel day. It is very much appreciated. Glad that the event you attended was such a comforting and positive meeting of souls that understand. Thanks for putting ribbons on the tree of remembrance. Also, for all the lovely pics. Yes----as the birthdays and angel days approach, you are so acutely aware of the time that has passed without your dear son, James. Thinking about you, and sending prayers. Jean---Nice that you were able to celebrate your sweet little grandson's 5th birthday. The holidays are the large triggers that bring the emotions to the surface. The emotions are always there...always...but the holidays can be difficult to get through. Peace to you. Colleen---thanks for the nice pics of your family gathered to celebrate Aaron's birthday. Your dear Brian must have smiled down on his brother and the whole family. Lesley----Hope you have finished your Christmas shopping before your upcoming ankle surgery. Praying for a smooth recovery after surgery. thanks for the screen shot of wise words of Mother Teresa. Kate-----Yes---I know just what you mean about frayed nerves when Angel Day is approaching. So glad that you had that nice dream of Jeff. The dreams.....when we're lucky enough to have them, are treasures to hold onto. Peace and serenity to you, dear friend. Tina---So sorry to hear of the death of your friend's son. So tragic. So kind of you to reach out to her in this sad time. When these tragedies occur, it somehow stirs up emotions in us that might have been just below the surface in our efforts to take a step forward. Wishing you peace.
  13. My sister, TooDevastated

    In all honesty, I agree with your post. What has been keeping me here for the past 15 months? My pets. They are in their senior years and I know my dog will leave most likely before my cat. No one else is equipped to take care of them and it would be selfish and cold hearted of me to place them in a shelter. I brought them home and I am going to be a loving, responsible pet parent. I owe them so much in how they have brought me comfort, companionship and a purpose to keep getting up every day. My kids and my granddaughter need me to stay. I don't really know why. My granddaughter is too young yet to know me. My kids are very involved with their own lives. They are in their 30's and self absorbed as young adults are. I am always there for them, but it is rarely reciprocated. I try to justify my wanting to leave this life early because maybe it would be easier for the kids to do their grieving for me sooner rather than later. We are all going to die someday. I feel it should be our choice morally and legally on when we decide we have had enough. You are right. There is no end in sight to this daily, exhausting struggle. I have done so much soul searching in what might be around the corner. I don't see much. My husband and the life we had together was the best I will ever have. I don't want to settle for a mediocre life or even less than. I have made the choice to never seek out another relationship, just to abate my loneliness. My husband was my one true soul mate. I still have zero interest in anything. There is nothing out there I wish to do or see. Being a wife to my husband was all I wanted. The joys and pleasures of life we shared have no influence on me now. i just don't care. What kind of existence is there, in bringing home my son's laundry to do every other week, just because he doesn't want to use the machines in the basement of his apartment building or spare the time to go to the laundromat? What kind of existence is it, in my daughter living in the home here and I rarely see her because she is too busy with work, her friends and sitting with the laptop? What kind of existence is it when my youngest daughter just up and spontaneously moved across the country 4 1/2 years ago and has a very busy, successful happy life and has told me she has no intention of coming back for a visit? Sure, I could go to visit her, but there is the quandary of the care of my pets while gone and the fact my youngest daughter is rarely home herself. No one wants to spend time with their old mom, so I come away with the strong feeling that their grieving would be short lived. Yes, I am envious of TooDevastated (Sally) in getting her wish. Heaven has got to be a much better place than this one.
  14. Sick with grief and guilt

    So after 3+ months without our sweet cat, we decided to go to the main pet rescue in our city and there we a lot of cats. After about 20 minutes of looking at cats, reading profiles, etc. we decided we couldn't do it yet. My husband commented how scared he is to love something again and then I lost it and broke down right there. I miss our cat so much! Needless to say we left. I am sure the volunteers were wondering what was wrong with us. Apparently it is still too soon. I want to love a cat again so badly, and yet I am so heartbroken still. And terrified. This whole thing has been so awful. I was such a careful and responsible cat "parent." I got his teeth cleaned, annual vet visits, watched him like a hawk as much as I could, etc. Until I took him away to this vacation house and he got into something and got sick. I still have guilt over not being extra careful. I should have paid more attention to what he was doing. We left for a one night trip and even though it was 10 days before he died, I wondered, was that when he got into something? I thought about it all morning as I was waking up. I am so haunted by the whole thing still. I give people advice here and now I don't even feel like I am making any progress. I guess it's going to take a lot longer than I even thought.
  15. lost my younger brother...

    It has been 3 months now since my brother left us... but it is not getting any easier... I miss him so much everyday. His clothes and his belongings are still in his room, so everything reminds me of him and I can still smell his scent and that makes me feel sadder and miss him more. I don't know how I can deal with this pain. Everyday is a struggle for me, and each day feels very long. I cannot sleep without taking an anxiety pill. Some days, I still wake up in the middle of the night. Those nights are more painful, and it's even more painful if I had a dream about him and everything in the dream felt like reality, except to just find out it was a dream. It's night time again and I'm scared to sleep...
  16. My sister, TooDevastated

    I have been living a nightmare every day for over a year now so as NOT to pass the "grief baton" onto family members. I can tell you this, it is no way to live! I exist only to spare my family members the same anguish I go through on a daily basis. I wonder if they had any clue what I was going through, would they allow me to end my own suffering if it meant that they would suffer? Could any loved one make that sacrifice? It reminds me of a pet owner who watches an animal suffer because they can not bare to let them go. They choose to spare themselves the anguish rather than end the suffering. My mother was such a person. Her beloved dog was clearly suffering because she couldn't bare to let him go. My family all saw this going on and no one did a thing because of the grief it would bring to her. I finally took the dog to the vet. I sat with him when he took his last breath. I cried. Not for the dog but for my mother. I envied the dog and my heart broke seeing the sadness in her eyes. When I read about TooDevistated, I was overcome with envy. She got her wish. The same wish I've had every day since my husband died. Whether she was reunited with her bf or just simply relieved of her suffering. Wherever she is now is better than where she was. To allow oneself to suffer to spare another is exhausting! It is not a life, it is a nightmare with no end in sight!
  17. I lost my mother 4 days ago because we failed to provide necessary medical assistance. My dad was her primary care-giver because she had a number of ailments and was generally weak over past 2 weeks. She was 69. On the fateful day, my mother had choked while eating breakfast. My dad had helped her spit out the food, and apparently she had used the restroom couple of times. My mom had irritable bowel syndrome and hence had to use the restroom often. She also used to lie down on the bed most of the time. I went to their rooms twice that morning and totally failed to read the situation. Both times, I assumed she was sleeping, as was her wont. After sometime when my dad came out of their room and told me that she seemed to need medical attention, I rushed in and found her unresponsive. Yet again, I failed to give her CPR and instead rushed her to the hospital which is closeby. I did sprinkle water and tried to massage her chest and feet, but I did not have presence of mind to try CPR. I was wailing and trying to take her to the hospital as soon as I can. We do not know how long she was unconscious. At the emergency room, they did not find a pulse to begin with, and pronounced her brought-in-dead after trying for about 40 minutes to revive her. I now realize that choking caused her death, albeit slowly over an hour or even 2 hours, when we thought she was sleeping. I failed to properly interpret what my dad was saying. He is himself 77 years old. Now, as the enormity of the mistakes occur to me, I do not know how to console myself, or even how to properly grieve. I don't want to discuss in detail with my dad, and make him more conscious that this was a freak accident, rather than a peaceful passing away in sleep, as it appeared to both of us in the initial hours. My mother had a number of life-long ailments, but died of choking. I don't know how to find peace now.
  18. Don't know what to say

    Djh, It's hard when there are reminders everywhere, this will be the case for a very long time. Her absence will always be felt, with or without those reminders. Especially such a person as her. It's so damned hard, I'm so sorry.
  19. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee, thank you so much. I have been fighting this alone. I haven't felt I was able to go to the dr yet. I have stated to them that I am not currently doctoring and I really try to be honest, so I hope that if I am not doing better by Tuesday I will go in. I get my strength built up for the day but by night I hurt and feel so bad.. might be wrong.. but just can't dr until the visits are over. I keep hoping it goes away but am sure I will need something to kick it. It shouldn't last this long. All in all though.. I am doing alright. Holidays are bittersweet.. our angels are missed, but they want us to go on.. and I do that for my whole family.. I have to be the best me I can be. Hope everybody is well, I do think of you always. I sure do love to read your writings Dee.. Thank you for being you.
  20. My sweet Teddy Bear passed away

    tandbug, I'm so sorry your fiance is gone so way too soon and unexpectedly and you and your daughter are left missing him. It's the hardest thing in the world, but it does help to be in a forum such as this and know you're not alone in it, that there are others that "get it". It does feel like a nightmare that you want to wake up from, an alternate reality. Like M88, I hope you have supportiveness around you. Living one day at a time, breaking it down to one hour or one minute, was the best advice I ever got. I've been on this journey 12 years and wrote this article from what I've learned during that journey, so want to share it with you as when my husband died I had no idea how to do this. TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this. I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey. Take one day at a time. The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew. It can be challenging enough just to tackle today. I tell myself, I only have to get through today. Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again. To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety. Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves. The intensity lessens eventually. Visit your doctor. Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks. They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief. Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief. If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline. I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived. Back to taking a day at a time. Try not to isolate too much. There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself. We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it! Some people set aside time every day to grieve. I didn't have to, it searched and found me! Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever. That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care. You'll need it more than ever. Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is. We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc. They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.] In time, consider a grief support group. If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". Be patient, give yourself time. There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc. They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it. It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters. Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time. That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse. Finally, they were up to stay. Consider a pet. Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely. It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him. Besides, they're known to relieve stress. Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage. Make yourself get out now and then. You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now. That's normal. Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then. Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first. You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it. If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot. Keep coming here. We've been through it and we're all going through this together. Look for joy in every day. It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T. It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully. You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it. It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it. Eventually consider volunteering. It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win. (((hugs))) Praying for you today.
  21. Lost my world last Friday

    lovingstill, You have been through a lot in the last month, I'm so sorry for your loss and all your unanswered questions. My kids are 35 and 33, I can't imagine them going through this so young and unexpectedly. I also realize that no matter how old you are or how long you were married, or even if a person made it to the altar, we all are hit with this same devastating loss and feel the pain and loss intensely, there's no easy way about this. I'm sure you're feeling overwhelmed, grief can feel paralyzing, but life demands that we do certain things and somehow we get through them even though we want to stay under the covers and go back to sleep. For myself, sleeplessness was another fallout of grief that didn't allow that option. I hope you'll continue coming here, it helps to read and post and know your feelings are normal. I'm glad you have your family and hope that is a place of love and support for you.
  22. Hugs

    And to you too. And M88, I feel your pain. It takes time to figure out how to "live in the day", you'll get there.
  23. Autocharge, Things change in time regardless of what direction life takes us. Years ago I never would have imagined that my kids' dad and I would have divorced after 23 years of marriage, or that I'd meet and marry my soulmate and best friend, or that I'd lose him just a few years later to a heart attack, his physique was perfect, you can't see what's going on inside a body. I'd never imagine that my kids would marry and quit coming to my house for holiday meals, as soon as my son married, him and my DIL started hosting ALL the family meals, even though I can't drive at night and live in snow country so I miss half of them. I miss the old days but they are gone. For years it was me hosting everyone...
  24. Holidays ..... sigh

    Urbaneve, Wow. That's a lot to take in. Your MIL has not considered you or your son for one moment, why would you continue to let her have her way? It seems she is used to throwing hissies and getting her way. Time to let your husband be cremated and scatter the ashes according to his wishes, with or without her. Unbelievable! I hope you will talk to the bank about your situation, usually they're willing to work with you a bit when you've encountered circumstances beyond your control. They aren't in the real estate business, they'd rather not have to go through all that effort. Is there some way you can increase your hours now or get a full time job to increase your income? You say you can't be angry with your husband now. Yes, you can. A lot of us have had to deal with things we found out "afterwards" that we didn't like or understand. It's okay to feel and experience anger, it doesn't wipe out the love, it sometimes takes a process to accept the whole of the person, bad lumps and all. Feeling it, processing it, it's all part of the grief process. If he was alive you would have plenty to say to him about it, it's okay to go ahead and tell him how you are feeling now. Write a note, or talk out loud. Then you can move on to the forgiving part and let it go as one of those things you don't understand but can move past anyway. I am very, very sorry for your loss and all you are going through! I am glad you found this place, and glad M88 is the first one to find your post and respond to it. I hope you'll hire an attorney that will go after the man that killed your husband and the company that hired him, and the police that didn't drug test him! No excuse for any of this to have happened and they all had a part in it. The attorney will likely get half of whatever he goes after but what's left is better than nothing, and your son deserves to have whatever you can get so you can support him and not lose your home. I hope you'll keep coming here. It helps to know you're heard and understood and all your feelings are normal and you're not alone in what you're going through. We're here, we're listening.
  25. Lost my soulmate and not sure how to go on.

    It was a long drive up there and back yesterday, a lot of people, but it was good to have time with my daughter and she did half the driving, and of course seeing my grandbabies is always a highlight. My DIL fixed a wonderful meal, so it was a good day, but it's always good to come home too, home is where we are in our sanctuary, comfortable. Loraine, it will be hard to do these things without Harvey-moon there. Oh how I know!
  26. Holidays ..... sigh

    Hello Urbaneve, I am truly sorry for the tragic loss of your husband, and your son his Daddy. Know that I would take you both in my arms and hug you, if I could. My heart aches for you having to deal with so many issues similar to my own. My darling hubby of 22 years was was killed as he walked on the footpath in another town. Two other people were injured, one seriously. Like yourself, I’d kissed goodbye to a happy, fit and healthy partner in the morning and a few hours later a Police Officer knocked at my door. The sudden, traumatic death of a soulmate is a difficult one for our minds to process. It will take time, but it will eventually happen. In saying that, I still frequently need to ask myself if my nightmare of a life can be for real? Because we weren’t with our partners when they were killed, and their death occurred suddenly, it makes it all the more difficult to comprehend and accept. Coming up with various scenarios regarding the ‘if only’s’ is a symptom of deep grief. This too will ease in time. I am absolutely gobsmacked to read of the cruel unsupportive behaviour of your Mother in law. Her not coming to support you and her Grandson is incomprehensible, as is her ongoing disgusting behaviour. I don’t know how a Grandmother would not want to gift the insurance money back to the immediate family of her deceased son, when she can clearly see they need it to keep a roof over their heads. I’m so sorry you are faced with such dire financial issues. In my country, if a parent doesn’t provide for a child, especially a minor, in their Will, the court will make an order to do so. I would get some legal advice on this issue. Does your country have community law centres where you can see a lawyer once, free of charge? If not, maybe you can locate a law firm via the net that does pro bono work. It is sometimes noted on their website if they do. This is often a way a lawyer chooses to give back to the community, and it strokes their ego’s at the same time. I understand your need to see your husband laid to rest. I’m not sure I’d be as patient as you regarding the delay, under the same circumstances. You have a lot of major stresses to deal with and need to stay as healthy as you can so don’t neglect your nutritional needs. I’ve found hypnotherapy and meditation to be very helpful in giving my brain a break from ruminating on events I have no control over. There are plenty of excellent videos to choose from on youtube. I too had problems with the Police not doing their job properly and when they still hadn’t interviewed the man who killed my hubby 17 weeks after doing so, despite my daughter and I pushing them to do so, I paid the prick an unannounced visit at his home. We had done our own investigating, located and talked with witnesses and were pointing out laws to the Police and were still being fobbed off. Anyways, the old prick complained to his lawyer about my visit and that visit turned out to be what was needed for the Police to realise we were not going to go away. I am in no way suggesting you do the same as it is putting yourself at risk, and you have a young son to raise. My kids are both adults. I kept emailing and phoning the highest ranking Officers in my region and a new, competent cop was given our case - just in time. Urbaneve, as you know the driving record of the man who killed your husband, I assume the Police are doing their job properly now, yes? Try and do all communication with the Police by email so you create a paper trail, should you need it later. I can add to that advice if you’d like me to. Clawing back respect and dignity for my darling drives me as does preventing further deaths such as he suffered. Already there’s been a change made with how the Police in area where my hubby was killed, handle serious crashes. And there is now a legal record of the conviction of someone who had a history of increasing blackouts (he chose to call them dizzy spells) and chose to drive whilst feeling one coming on, killed someone with his vehicle and injured others. I do hope you will find the understanding, comfort and compassion that is shared on our forum as helpful as I have. Deep grief is pot hole ridden, twisted road, that sadly must be travelled by those of us who have lost a dear soulmate. It’s often three steps forward, two back but we’re all here to help each other. Sending you strength, love and hugs Xx
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