Members Van Posted October 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 It's been 3 month since a lost my 5 year old son...he was getting ready to go to school. I losing my mind because he was the joy of my life ...everyday I think of suicide because I want to know wants on the other side and if he's taking care of but those things we will never know...I can't even work or support the rest of my family I lost all strength mentally... I've been seeing a doctor/psy but Nothing is helping....I'm just so weak...I've never felt so much pian in my life.....it's a continuous nightmare I wake up to every day....I've lost all faith in God...please tell me why are we here to suffer this pian? Death must be my answers because life is too hard to go on living without him...I hate this world it don't make any sense....I'm sorry for the rant. We had a perfect family..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Van Posted October 14, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 This is a stupid world we are supposed to live e and love each other but all I see is death.....what is the point of living when it's just going to be more and more pian to come? I'm thinking of drinking this antifreeze or taking all this pian killer and cutting myself till I bleed out!!!! In sorry everyone I have no one to love anymore.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alina's mom Posted October 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 so sorry for your loss, I know how its painful, tears never stop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted October 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 Van dont do it it is not the solution although it truly feels like it is. i tried to kill myself i was so deranged with grief and trying to deal with my other adult children and failing. I didnt tell anyone I just left the house.i left no notes for anyone I was too far gone for words and went somewhere i would not be found and took a massive overdose. my sister was praying to my son Tommy who died in Aug (this happened last Nov) to find me and a thought came in her mind where i was. She had to do CPR on me until the ambulance came and took over. I was on a ventilator in ITU for over a week and almost died twice whilst there. So it was not the right thing to do and tommy came back to stop me because he knew my family needed me. I have to make up for what I did to my kids and family and try to go on with my life because that is what we have to do. Suicide is not the answer learning to live again is. i have come so far in the last 14 months but it is an effort i am still desperately sad and miss my Tommy so much and i will never be the same i struggle to live too. I have a wonderful grief counsellor and a psychiatrist and lots of meds and I still am too unwell to work but there are times I feel a little peace and acceptance it comes with time. Grieve your heart out you lost your precious child there is no pain like it and you have to experience that raw agony and take it ten minutes at a time, then another ten minutes then an hour at a time then two hours and then three and so on. You will do it you will make it through. let others help love and support you and i promise it gets better just very very slowly. i only just found this forum and reading it helps. Only other grieving parents get it we have all been there others can help you.keep posting pour your heart out and let others help you find the light. Ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Laytonsmom Posted October 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2016 Van. Please post to comfort us that you did not choose that route . My loss is so recent that I still can't believe it's true and fear I won't be able to find the strength to get through this myself though we all must. Seeing a reply from you will go a long way to providing me some measure of hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted October 26, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2016 i agree Laytonsmom please keep in touch Van. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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