Loss of partner

[Sony]

I'm amazed at how some of your stories are similar to my own. I'd like to start off saying that I genuinely feel for everyone and offer my condolences. I know that doesn't fix a thing, but yet still it has to be said. For a while, and even now I still felt very alone. Because of my boyfriend passing, I couldn't really relate to anyone. He passed away on May 11, 2016 from a motorcycle accident. It was due to rider error. He was going over a 170 mph in a curve. I'm a rider as well so I thought it was crazy how he passed away doing what he loved the most and it was curves. Because of how he died, I sold my bike. I slept for days and lost quite a bit of weight from having no appetite. I went no where and even lost my job. The final result of that was me moving back in with my mother. I didn't want to be around anyone and even now I still don't really want to be. To sum it up, I was depressed and still continue to be. He meant the world to me. We were always together constantly. He didn't even like it when I stepped a few feet away from him. After only 6 months we wanted to take it to the next level by living together. We were planning on renting or eventually buying a house. Our relationship moved pretty fast, but our love was as if we were together for years or married. In short, we were just about to start our lives together. Even though our relationship was a mere 9 months, it out shined my first and only other real relationship I ever had of 5 years. He was the man I was going to marry, and no one I had ever dated had given me that thought. He had 3 daughters that he had left behind as well. Not only was he very affectionate, he was always honest even when he didn't need to be, he would always look out for everyone, he was always losing sleep because he was constantly working and finding ways to spend time with not just me but his entire family. He was a great father and never felt obligated to do what he needed to do. We had almost everything in common, he mentally stimulated me, our minds were just in sync, and he wanted nothing but the best for me. He was more than a boyfriend, he was someone I'd grow with. There is so much more I could share about this man, but I'll end it here. He was my soulmate and now I'm struggling to even see a reason to be. I attached my self to him so much that he became my purpose. If only I had more time with him, like some others did with their partners would this have been any easier? I don't know because what I had with him was so much deeper than with anyone.

[KayC]

I'm sorry you lost him, I can't imagine going that fast on a motorcycle, you're pretty unprotected for that rate of speed.  To lose the person you'd just found that was THE ONE is really hard!

I hope you'll keep posting here, it helps to express yourself.

I don't think the length of time makes any difference, it's just hard no matter when it is.  I've heard those who were new in their relationship and those who were together 50 years, it's quality of love/relationship that affects your grieving.

[Barney_12]

Sony, I'm not happy to say that we've experienced the same story however I have been looking for someone who lost a boyfriend, not a husband so that maybe it felt like I could relate more. 

I lost mine in a motorcycle accident 2 1/2 mths ago after being together for 3 mths. Those 3 mths weren't typical 3 months " dating" ...it was quite serious. Texted. Talked and saw each other every day for that time. We didn't have concrete plans of moving in etc but we did talk about the future together. We have 5 kids between us. We knew this was so incredibly different than any other relationship we ever had - especially our ex- marriages. 

Because we weren't married or living together and only 3 mths, I know some people aren't understanding my grief where as others are. Sometimes I don't understand it either to be honest.

i just know I miss him. I miss talking to him everyday. The good morning and goodnight texts. Looking forward to seeing him sometime during the day or after work. I miss what we had and the future we should have had. 

[KMB]

Hi Barney---You suffered a loss, a relationship and a future. You have every right to grieve for all of that. You are coming to the right place here.

Prayers and hugs.

[Ajsmother]

Hello Sony,

Our stories are quiet similar. My boyfriend passed on August 19th due to a motorcycle accident. His accident happened around 7:00pm, which was about 30 mins after he sent me off to MS to play softball. He was a hard and fast driver. Loved being on that bike. I wasn't too fond of riding, and would always tell him to be careful. He too was speeding around a curve, in which he traveled multiple times a day and lost control.  I still find it so hard to understand how it happened. We were together for 18 months, and we are expecting our first baby together now. I am 6.5 months pregnant.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about him,  yearn for his touch, his smell, his laughter.  I just want to look in to his eyes again. I want him to rub my tummy and talk to his son. Sweetie, I don't have a loT of advise as I am still grieving as well. The only thing that I can tell you is that I have had to totally rely on God. Without him, I wouldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't be able to smile or laugh minimally. He has given me so much strength to make it moment by moment.  I am praying for your strength and comfort love. As we are mourning, so is God. He is with us when we think we are alone. Keep fighting honey. We are going to make it!! 

[Blessed1977]

I am sorry for everyone's loss. Approximately 1 month ago, my boyfriend 50 years old was killed by a hit and run. He was out jogging training for the NYC Marathon. The pain is sometimes unbearable as this is the man I was planning my future with and then just like that he's gone. I'm obviously still grieving, but I'm barely functioning at work, and am finding myself ignoring phone calls because I do not want to talk to anyone. I know my boyfriend would not want me to grieve long for him, but to move forward and live my life. Please keep me in prayer also do not want to skip into depression.

[KMB]

Hi BLessed1977---Sorry for your loss and what you are going through. You found this site for a reason, you will find comfort and friends here. Grieving and the journey is an individual deal but the initial days and months of emotions can be the same for everyone. Just know, your boyfriend is in a beautiful place where we all will be someday and he has unconditional love for you and is still with you in spirit. Prayers and hugs to you.

[KayC]

Blessed,

I am sorry for your loss, it is a hard thing to learn how to carry.  I lost my husband 11 years ago, and it's the hardest journey I've ever embarked on.  I realize they wouldn't want us to grieve, but it's impossible not to.  To lose someone you love so much means...you grieve.  Grief does, however, evolve and doesn't stay in the same level of intensity.  It's different for everyone, the level of grief is determined by the level of love and how much your lives were intertwined.  Our own personal coping skills can affect how we handle it as well, so it's very individual.

In the beginning I was in a fog, sort of a shock, I think that's our body's way of protecting us and then it lets us have it little by little.  I wanted to talk to someone but everyone disappeared on me.  I'll never forget that summer (he died in June), feeling frantic, it was horrible.  It was like I couldn't believe it!

It's a good time to see your doctor, let him/her know what you're going through.  It's also good to schedule an appt. with a grief counselor.  Good luck to you, we're here to listen and we all understand the grief surrounding loss.