Members Charcbell Posted October 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 I'm new to this group and honestly wish I didn't have to be a part of it but I am. I lost my mom in January to cancer. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and I'mnot prepared. I literally think about her every day but I don't dwell on her if that makes sense. Dwelling only makes it more painful. How long does this grieving process last? People say it gets better, but how is that possible? I can't share any new experiences or celebrate accomplishments with the only person I want. I'll never be the same any more. How does this get easier? How is it supposed to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2016 I honestly wish I could say something to bring you comfort. The *firsts* of birthdays and holidays, etc., are not easy to get through. For your mom's birthday, maybe light a candle and say a prayer. She'll hear you. I understand about *dwelling*. I do it on a daily basis since the loss of my husband. It makes me feel sadder and more depressed. Trying to keep busy and focus on something else does help some. Grieving is an individual process. Take all the time you need and take care of yourself. Because we're human, grieving is the path to healing. Your mom is in a beautiful place being taken care of by God now. She is not suffering and she knows and feels your pain, heartache of loss. She is there with you sharing in your life. Talk to your mom, she'll hear you. My loss is recent and I struggle to get through the days. I pray daily to God and my husband to help me through. Hugs to you--- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chris C. Posted October 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2016 It doesn't necessarily get "easier". I think it just starts to feel more normal and you learn how to respond when the tough times come along. It is a lifelong process that I am still trying to figure out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lottie_Lulu Posted October 16, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2016 It's a big change and life is different once you get your head around what's happened. At least that's what people keep telling me. I just feel like I woke up in another world. My dad had the six month anniversary of his death last week and actually I wished I had been able to do something for it, rather than just waking up and realising what the date was. I told my mum I was feeling really bad about it but she said she'd only be marking the year anniversary and was very offhand. I think having planned to do something, even just go for a coffee, would have helped a bit. Actually his birthday was OK, that was 2 months after he died. We had planned then to go out for a meal but it coincided with father's day in the UK so every restaurant was booked up so we didn't go out in the end, but somehow just the fact we were going to mark it helped. I think it does get better. Everyone says it does. Like everyone else on here, I too am just trying to figure it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bpotter Posted October 26, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2016 Hello I'm new to group. I lost my stepdad in April and then my biological dad in May. I was unprepared and feel a lot of guilt for not seeing them as much as I could have. My stepdad was a stroke survivor and I loved him very much. I met a stroke survivor at my work today and realize I have not gotten over losing my dads! Although I was not very close to my Bio-dad, I feel bad about not going to check on him. I feel sad, yet hide it well. Sad in Vermont Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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