Members Ajsmother Posted October 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 August 19th, 2016 was by far the worst day of my life. I was on my way to Mississippi to play softball and missed a call from my wonderful boyfriend. When I realized that I missed it, I called back immediately. No answer. I didn't think nothing of it, as I know that at times he doesn't hear his phone when he is riding his motorcycle. A few minutes after the call I received a text message from his phone stating "weaver had a wreck and died, this is jacky. I am not playing call his phone" I sit for a minute or two processing the words and then told my teammates about the message I received. We all were like it's a joke, we just saw him a couple of hours ago. Well I started calling his phone, back to back. Sending messages to him. No response. So then I called his best friend's jacky phone. When he picked up he kept saying "my brother, my brother" I knew then, that this wasn't a joke. Weaver had a motorcycle wreck and passed. I have some intense emotional days were I can't control the tears nor my emotions. I continue to pray to ask God for guidance, strength and comfort. I know God is listening, it's just at times I feel as though he is not. I know that is only the devil telling me God has left me. It took a random person to tell me not to be angry with God because God doesn't like to see us in pain. God mourns with us. In the lowest moments of our lives, God is still with us. In the bible it tells us that God will never put more on us than we can bare; God will never leave nor forsake us. We are more than Conquerors, and we will get through this. We can't give up!!! I know I can't give up. Weaver has left me with a part of him. I am 6 months pregnant with our son, so I have to keep pressing on. I am sending love to everyone who needs it. Please say a prayer for me and my unborn son, and I will be sure to pray for you! !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Janice 252 Posted October 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 Hi there. I have no words but just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. Keep strong. I have always believed that "if God brings you to it, he will help you through it" I'm clinging onto that at the moment. I ask God every morning to get me through the day and each night thank him for his help. Sending hugs. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cgmiller63 Posted October 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers your way. How wonderful that you will still have a part of Weaver in your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 So very sorry---- Keep praying! Take care of yourself! You have Weaver's son, a part of him. His memories and legacy will live through you and your son! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ajsmother Posted October 6, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement. I am so very excited about our unborn son, while at the same time heart broken. To know that AJ will only see his father in pictures or videos that I have captured really saddens my heart. A lot of my heartache is due to that. My preacher preached about when we pray to pray with confidence and audacity. I have been claiming the victory, and I claim it for you all as well! At times before I pray, I will start off by saying God please equipped my mind to pray for things that are aligned with your will. I am not sure what God has in store for us, but I truly believe that he is going to blow our mind. We just have to continue believing in him, seeking him in all we do and praying for strength, comfort, guidance and peace. God bless you all. This is helping me more than you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 Beautiful picture! The light and the energy reflecting from you both is amazing! Keep praying! God and Weaver are by your side to help. Never lose the faith! Hugs to you--- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 6, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 You're in my prayers. It must seem all so surreal to you, not much time has passed yet, yet like a million years at the same time. It's a beautiful picture of the two of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Janice 252 Posted October 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 Such a beautiful ppicture. Sending prayers and thoughts. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ajsmother Posted October 7, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Thank you all so much for the compliments. I know we were relatively young, however the love that we had for each other was once in a lifetime. Atleast for us... we would comment on that all of the time. As hard as it is to be without him physically, I thank God for allowing him to come in to my life for the time we shared together. I really hope that Weaver continues to check on us, I just don't feel his presence. I just pray and ask God to allow him to make his presence known. I guess when I am ready, God will answer that prayer if it is aligned with his will. I continue to rely on God's strength and comfort. Sunday is his 29th birthday, so as Sunday approaches, I find myself feeling extra sad at times. I know I am going to make it with God on my side. Even in the midst of my storm, he continues to bless me. Thank you all soooo much!!! Hugs and continued prayers for you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 7, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 2 hours ago, Ajsmother said: I know we were relatively young, however the love that we had for each other was once in a lifetime. Love has nothing to do with age or how long you were together, but love is a connection, understanding, relating, caring. We were all lucky to experience that in our lives, grief seems the price you pay when it's taken from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ajsmother Posted October 7, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Yes KayC, you are so right. We are so very blessed and lucky to have loved our loved one who has gone on before us. I wouldn't change anything that Weaver and I experienced other than not having enough time together. People would always tell him that he was so lucky to have me. I would have to disagree. I was so very lucky to have him. The old cliché is you never know what you have until it's gone. Not that Weaver and I felt that we were immortal as we knew death is inevitable. I just didn't think it would happen so soon. I now know that my plan is not God's plan. I thank you so much for your continued support. You are stronger than you know!!! I praise God for you as you are battling with your own grief but still giving yourself to others to help them through their process. God bless you! !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ajsmother Posted October 7, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Yes KayC, you are so right. We are so very blessed and lucky to have loved our loved one who has gone on before us. I wouldn't change anything that Weaver and I experienced other than not having enough time together. People would always tell him that he was so lucky to have me. I would have to disagree. I was so very lucky to have him. The old cliché is you never know what you have until it's gone. Not that Weaver and I felt that we were immortal as we knew death is inevitable. I just didn't think it would happen so soon. I now know that my plan is not God's plan. I thank you so much for your continued support. You are stronger than you know!!! I praise God for you as you are battling with your own grief but still giving yourself to others to help them through their process. God bless you! !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Hi---hugs to you! KayC nailed it. Love is the constant connection. My husband was older than me by 12 years. We never considered the age difference. The love was instant and enduring. I have to keep thinking of the memories and how blessed I am that I was chosen, destined, to be in my husband's life for the rest of his journey here. Grief, pain and heartache, are the price to pay because we are human. My husband is free now of his sufferings with his physical body. He is under God's care. God has a plan for me, just going to take a long time to figure that out. I took care of my husband for a long time. I guess it's time for me to take care of myself somehow. But I sure do miss my husband every second even though I know he's in the afterlife and looking out for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ajsmother Posted October 7, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Thank you for the hug KMB, sending one back your way!! Yes, your husband is no longer suffering. Praise God for that. Knowing that your husband is no longer in pain, I am sure it gives you some relief, however it doesn't take your pain away from missing him desperately. My step father is a preacher and always preaches,he may be absent from the body however he is now present with the lord. I find comfort in knowing that Weaver is now with God. I am so very sure that your husband and Weaver are loving every bit of heaven. A few days ago I was so envious of Weaver, talking to him and saying that he is so happy and carefree in heaven and I am down here suffering. I had to check and remind myself that one day I will experience heaven. Right now, God has something in store for not just me but all of us, we just have to be patient and lean on to God for his understanding. "When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be. When we all see Jesus, we will sing and shout the victory" oh what a day it will be when we see our loved ones. Until that day, we have to keep their memory alive and keep pressing on. We all have to hold fast!! God bless you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members green7 Posted October 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 Ajsmother, beautifly said, I wish I had faith like you do. I know I should find some comfort knowing that my boyfriend is in heaven with god. I just can't, I don't understand why life works like this, or why my boyfriend was taken so soon and so young. I prayed the first weeks after my boyfriend died, I prayed so much and yet I didn't find peace, instead I found myself more depressed and my heart full of anger. Some times I think that maybe I will find the peace and comfort that I need in god, and I feel bad when I think how I can't pray and how I'm losing my faith... maybe it's too soon maybe eventually I will see things differently. I'm sorry I know this post doesn't help, just wanted to tell you I admire the faith you have I hope that someday I can find my way back to god. I love your picture! Such a beautiful couple! I hope Sunday won't be so hard for you. Hugs to you and your baby <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 8, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 I guess it's like the Bible says " For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then shall I know, even as also I am known. " 1 Cor 13:12 I don't imagine we can ever understand on this side of the veil, it takes faith to make it through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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