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Daniel.j

Lost my dad this morning

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Daniel.j   

10:25 this morning was the exact time. We got the call from the hospital that he was in his final moments.. we got there too late as he had passed already. Mum, my sister and I got to see him in a single room as one of our final moments with him, especially to mourn. I did not cry but seeing my mum go through this loss has really put its toll on me. Dad was admitted into hospital 4 days ago and sooner or later the doctors had found water in his lungs. The cause of death is what I believe to be heart failure. He passed at the ripe old age of 90. Fair to say, he lived a very long life as he was 10 years off the milestone century. He had been suffering for quite a while now. Oxygen 24/7 and was suffering a variety of other illnesses including bad emphysema. The complications & daily struggle he endured is now over and he is now in a better place. 

It still feels very weird that he has left this world. It's weird walking past the lounge room and remembering him watching the TV and giving him the wave and a "Hey Dad!". Small moments like that I will cherish. As for myself, I'm turning 20 very soon and as an early adult caring for your elderly parent is not your usual task around this age.I tried my best to do what he wanted me to do for him. At times I would get frustrated at the load. I really won't to forgive myself for that. I do plan on getting counselling at my local university but for the mean time I think I need some time off with mum. I'm not sure if I should notify close friends yet because I don't want to put a cloud over their day/night. For now I just hope the funeral process and following support goes good for mum as to see her struggle is the last thing I want in this world. 

Daniel.

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AndiG   

Thinking of you tonight Daniel. I lost my 57 year old mum to.cancer nearly 3.months ago. Its only now hitting home the sheer reality that she is gone. 

There is no worse feeling in the world. But you will get through it, just like the rest of the wonderful people on here. 

Take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts 

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Hi Daniel, that is so much for such a young person to deal with.  I hope you are able to find some solace on this site and work toward forgiving yourself.  Guilt is a part of grief.  I've never heard anyone on this site talk about their grief without mentioning some sort of guilt.  There is likely nothing you could have done at such a young age, and with such an ailing parent to improve the situation.  It sounds like you gave him the best support you could under the circumstances and I'm sure he recognized that.

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