Loss of a husband

[Kasia]

My husband passed away three weeks ago after a year long battle with cancer. He was only 49 years old and I can not function at all. Feel totally lost and numb. We have been together for 27 years and my life it's empty without him. Can't see how I can go on without him. My heart and spirit are broken . I have never done forum like this before , but figured maybe I can find some kind of peace talking to people in similar situation. 

[claribassist13]

Kasia, 

I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I cannot imagine what his pain must have been, but I can relate the pain you are currently facing. 

It's natural to feel numb for the first few weeks. I didn't really begin to feel anything until about six weeks after my fiance's accident. 
Make sure you have people you can talk to, people who will support you for the long haul. Always feel free to talk on here. Remember to be kind to yourself, to take each second as it comes. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that comes your way. 

You'll find sympathetic ears here. 

[Ellie]

Kasia,

I'm so sorry for your pain and grief at the loss of your husband.  You will find empathy on this site, as we're all struggling with this unimaginable pain.  I lost my dear, darling Drew just 10 weeks ago.  Claribassist is right, at first you're numb, in shock, completely lost.  I'm a broken shell compared to the person I was, but I must say, I have found the last couple of weeks have been a little easier.  I think you just get used to the pain; it doesn't really go away, but you develop a sort of emotional callous that protects you from the raw pain.  I find myself crying, sobbing uncontrollably sometimes, about 2-3 times a week now, instead of 2-3 times a day.  The pain is still there, but I'm managing day-to-day life better.  I'm also finding that the horrible flashbacks of that dreadful day, 10 weeks ago, are less vivid and less frequent.

Please hang in there.  Surround yourself with people, whether in person or by phone, email, Facebook, this forum, whatever.  If anyone offers any sort of assistance, gratefully accept it.  Seek a grief counselor too.  We all have to be strong, but we don't have to do it alone.

Ellie

[KMB]

Kasia--- My thoughts are with you. Take comfort from all the posts. We're all here with you.

[StevenKelly]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 7 weeks ago. We were together 26 years. My best friend gone and now I'm totally alone. Having no choice I had to get our affairs in order and get a new job making much more money to support our household. Had I not been busy I don't know what would have happened as my first thoughts were to try and join her any way I could. Those thoughts have passed but I'm just going through the motions right now. 

My advice is to stay busy doing that saved me.

[Kasia]

Thank you for your support. I try to stay busy and distract myself as much as I can, but it's not easy. I had a job I had to resign from  two months ago in order to take care of my husband , so now I just seat here at home , while my mind just wonders and the pain is so raw. I find a little comfort in the fact that he is in a better place , without suffering and pain , but where his pain and suffering ended mine started. I know it might sound selfish ,  but that's the truth. I am looking into support groups that I could go to and hopefully find some ways to cope. 

[KayC]

Kasia,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you continue to come here, see a grief counselor, and yes staying busy can help too, although not if it makes you avoid grief.  

2 hours ago, Kasia said:

I find a little comfort in the fact that he is in a better place , without suffering and pain , but where his pain and suffering ended mine started.

I felt the same way.

All of your feelings are valid, even when they seem to contradict each other.  We experience a myriad of emotions going through this.