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Really bad weekend


Nobody1

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claribassist13

I believe that difficulty comes and goes throughout a weekend.
I am so sorry to hear that this weekend, in particular, has been hard for you. The best thing you can do it just let it happen. It's important to let yourself feel your emotions and to deal with the intense waves of grief as they come.

If you need someone to rant/talk/cry to, my inbox is always open.  

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Thanks Clari, the sadness I feel today is so overwhelming. I am having dinner with my mother in a couple hours and I fear I will not be able to conceal my sorrow. It is written all over my face. I do not want her to see it. What do I do? 

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I am..... I decided to go see a movie with a friend. First time to the movies since losing my everything. I thought I would be ok, at first it was ok and then everything just hit me like a truck and the tears started to roll down my face and I tried to cry quietly I didn't want anyone to see, or bother the other people there. I have no advice to how to conceal your sorrow, because I don't know how to do it myself. But don't you think she knows even if you don't really show it?

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Karin, I'm sorry about your experience at the movies. I hate to let people see me cry. My mother is 80 and so far I think I've been putting on a good act in front of her. If I feel the tears coming I usually go outside and collect myself. I don't really think there's any advice that would help anyway but thank you for your response . . . It does help

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Jeff In Denver

Nobody1, you're not a nobody.  Please remember that.  It doesn't help you, but most of us here are dealing with the same thing that you are.  This is a club that no one wants to be a member of.  Nobody wants to be on this site.

I have an earlier post containing links to information that can help.  Not the usual "let go, move on" nonsense.  I think you're rather new here or I wouldn't be mentioning this, but please check out "Love Knows No Death."  Would you feel better if you knew that your husband still loves you, cares about you, and is aware of your pain, and that you will be together again?  I am a skeptic, but I really believe this is the case.

 

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Terrible weekend here too....I feel your pain. Sobbed uncontrollably last night after going to a class. Had to leave halfwy through. Feeling awfully empty and lonely. I miss Drew most on the weekends and during the evenings, our times together. Nobody, please don't call yourself Nobody. We are all some bodies dearly missing our other somebodies. 

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claribassist13
6 hours ago, Nobody1 said:

Thanks Clari, the sadness I feel today is so overwhelming. I am having dinner with my mother in a couple hours and I fear I will not be able to conceal my sorrow. It is written all over my face. I do not want her to see it. What do I do? 

 

You can try to conceal your emotions, but you can't hide the pain you are experiencing. Just because you are able to eat dinner with your mother doesn't mean that you are better. My personal advice is to be honest if she asks how you are doing. Lying to family or to yourself will only hurt you in the long run. 
If you feel like you are about to cry, excuse yourself for a few minutes. A lot of us don't want to cry in front of other or our family, but if you can't rely on family, who can you rely on?

There is no right way to go about this. You'll have to do what you are capable of in the moment. 

I hope dinner is alright!

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7 hours ago, Nobody1 said:

Is anybody out there having a really bad weekend too? So sad, so lonely, so hopeless. Can't stop crying.

It's been a hard weekend.   I am crying with you.  

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I spent two weeks out on the west coast and got back home Saturday afternoon. It was my first run since her passing and coming home to an empty house was hard to face. Yeah, the weekend blew and I'm glad  it's over.

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Sorry you were so sad and felt the pressure of trying to contain that to spare your mom. So hard to wrangle all of this emotional stuff for situations like that.

I was all over the place emotionally and physically this weekend. Carrying on with normal chores one minute, sobbing into one of his shirts the next minute....so exhausting. Just want him back and want off this screwed up ride!!!!

Glad this weekend is over. Looking forward to work!

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19 hours ago, Nobody1 said:

Is anybody out there having a really bad weekend too? So sad, so lonely, so hopeless. Can't stop crying.

Same for me. Friday's are bad. I always looked forward to coming home and spending the weekend with her. This last Friday I got in my car and then remembered that she wouldn't be there waiting for me, that's how every Friday is now and then the weekend all alone. Had dinner at my sister's but her husband brought home everything that was in and on my wife's desk at work, she worked for him, I went through it and was a wreck for the rest of the night, couldn't eat because it was like it just happened all over again.

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Jeff In Denver

I'm sorry that you guys had a bad weekend.  We all understand.

Well, here I am in beautiful downtown Denver.  17 floors up.  Work is on my left monitor, this site is on the right one.  Another shitty weekend is over, and I'm trying not to cry.  I'm sure my friends are getting tired of me always telling them how crushed I feel.  Getting out and walking, bike riding, etc., really helps.

I hate waking up at 3:00 in the morning.  Recently it has been completely silent.  Kind of like Thanksgiving or Christmas morning.  I hate waking up to that kind of quietness.  I have never felt so alone.  I can only imagine what the holidays will be like.

Next month I go to Philadelphia/NJ/NY to visit my father.  Mila and I did that the last two Octobers.  We had a wonderful time.  I talk to her all the time, and I tell her that she will be with me this year.   I just wish I could hold her hand.

I beg to her to talk to me when I'm sleeping, to give me a sign, etc. Nothing.  Maybe she can't yet, but wants to.  I hope she's not mad at me.  I went through a drinking/women phase a few months ago and did some crazy things.  That's behind me.

I'm tired of not being able to talk her about our day, to joke, to laugh, to help each other...

I remember a few months ago I had a broken hinge on a small HP netbook.  I bought a new hinge on eBay.  I wasn't quite sure how to install it, but she did.  But she couldn't get the last part to quite fit.  I did that part, and it was fixed.  She said, "See, we're a team."  Sums it up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I was sorry to read that you all seemed to have a really bad weekend as well. I hope this doesn't make me a horrible person but it helped me a great deal to know that I was not the only one. Thank you all so much for your responses! 

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Jeff In Denver

You're not a bad person, and you are far from the only one.  There is no way to know how each other feels, but we know it's not good.  I am sorry that you have to deal with this.

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