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Will life without my mom ever get easier


Katertot

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My mom died suddenly in December.  She was perfectly healthy (or so we thought), active and the greatest person.  We do not know what happened, she was only 61. She spent the morning at my nieces Christmas show and then headed off to work.  My dad decided to bring her lunch and found her dead at her desk that afternoon.  I had taken the day off work to get my hair done, finish my Christmas decorations (I was hosting Christmas that year) and then attend my husbands holiday party.  I met my husband and he had to tell me the news that completely destroyed me.  It's nine months later and I feel worse than ever, and I just do not know what to do.  I feel like the world is caving in on me and I can barely breathe.  I have some really great people in my life, but they do not understand what I am going through, and I do not know how to tell them.  I try to be strong, and people are impressed by me, but the pain I feel inside is unbearable.  

I am also dealing with infertility, Ivf, and have had two miscarriages since January.  I am so hurt by these things, but yet they are so small in comparison to the pain I am feeling with the loss of my mom.  

At this point I just feel so alone and so angry at what my life has become.  Every minute of the last 9 months has been painful, and I just want to have something to look forward to, or at least a moment of peace.  

I am not sure what I am hoping to get out of this post, I think I just needed somewhere to express my feelings.  If if any one has any advice, I would really appreciate it. I am so sorry to everyone who is also dealing with their own tragedies :( 

 

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Grief is one of those feelings that can linger and turn into a major depression.  It's hard to think about someone being in grief, without acknowledging that they are likely also depressed.  It does sound like you have quite a few life stressors going on right now though, in addition to dealing with the loss.  It's great that you have a support network, and sadly typical that they can't support you as much as you need.  In these instances, if you are doing everything else you can to try and cope (spending time with friends and other loved ones, staying busy etc.) and still aren't getting any relief or if it seems to be getting worse I typically recommend grief counseling and/or medication if you think you may be depressed.  I am not an advocate for medication, but I am an advocate for taking care of one's self, even if that means scrapping pride and taking a medication.  But aside from that, as I know many people are still opposed to it unless absolutely necessary, I'd look into grief counseling or an in person support group to help you through this tough time. In the meantime, we are here for you!

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