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Heartbroken


Rivan

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Almost 2 weeks ago I had to put down my cat Smokey. He was my baby, and my best friend, i had him for over 14 years. He loved to climb on my lap when I sat on the couch and sleep. He was diagnosed with a tumour in his liver only 3 months ago and just went downhill from there. He was a fighter but one day he couldn't fight anymore and became so weak and was in pain and I knew i couldn't be selfish and make him suffer just because I didn't want to say goodbye. I've had the hardest time coping since this. I cry atleast once a day, and just feel completely lost and broken without him. My heart just aches for him, To hold him, pet him or just hear his meow just one more time. 

 

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I am so sorry you lost Smokey.  You did the right thing though, you made the selfless caring decision a pet owner can make, putting him ahead of yourself.  I've heard it said that the pain we feel is equivalent to the love we had...is it any wonder it hurts so much?

I lost my Miss Mocha three months ago...I never found out for sure what happened to her.  She wanted outside at 6:00 am, it was daylight.  I let her out and never saw her again.  I was outside working in the yard all day yet didn't see her.  It didn't alarm me, she usually slept on the porch swing or crawled up in the rafters of the garage to nap.  I put up flyers, posted on FB & lost pets, contacted neighbors...no one saw or heard anything.  I figure a predator/animal must have got her, it had to be sudden and quick because I never heard a protest.  She would not have ran away of her own accord.  She loved her home & family and had been here 10 1/2 years.  I don't know how old she was as she showed up as an adult, abandoned and left out in the country by someone who no longer wanted her.  She adopted me!  

I console myself by knowing she had the best life she could have, here with me and my other cat and dog.  She was very happy here.

We know we are not guaranteed any set number of years with them.  We know the odds are we'll outlive them...and really we wouldn't want it the other way.  We wouldn't want them to lose us and be scared and have to be rehomed.  But that doesn't stop the pain in our hearts, the void they left.  Hopefully someday the memories will bring a smile instead of pain.  It was that way when I lost my husband, it just took time to get to that point.

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I totally understand, I just had to put my 19 year old cat down this morning. We found a tumour on her belly about 3-4 months ago, and it was a slow decline at first...until about a week ago. She was sunken and didn't look like she was in pain yet, until last night. Watching her try to move was excruciating, she could barely lift her body. I picked her and started to cry, so I sat down with her on my lap just to show her love and get some time with my cat. She tried to jump off the couch later and fell...had no chance of landing properly, it was like her legs gave out before she hit the ground. We found her this morning, and it looked as if she was finally overtaken by what was going on, what was killing her. We couldn't allow for her to suffer any longer. After holding her for about an hour and a half, just loving her and comforting her, we finally took her to the vet to be put down. She was in my arms when it happened, and all I can see when I close my eyes is the emptiness in hers when she was finally gone. I miss her so much, I am so overwhelmed with grief right now.

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