My mother is gone

[MelS]

Good Evening,

My name is Melissa and on May 31, 2016 my mother passed away and at the same time was diagnosed with HLH. 

I have been having a very hard time with this whole thing and just trying to find ways to cope with this new normal. I am definitely looking for any guidance or advice on how to cope. I have a million questions and a lot of what it's and find myself not being able to sleep, crying everyday and just being irritated at everyone and everything.

 

 

[seachelle]

Hi, so sorry for your loss.  They say losing a parent (or primary caregiver) is one of the most devastating losses a person experiences in life.  My mom is elderly and suffering some health complications so I am aware that this reality will occur in my life.  To some extent I am already grieving.  From what I hear, the best things to do are the things we know we should do, give ourselves a break, allow ourselves time to grieve, take it one day at a time, try to stay busy, surround yourself with supportive people, seek medical help if necessary.  I think the hard part for all of us is the desire to escape these circumstances is so strong, and we know that these remedies take time to work.  Speaking with others who have gone through or are going through similar things helps me.  Have you tried any of the lifestyle changes I mentioned? Are they giving some degree of relief.  It's still a new loss so I think the process of adjusting will take time.  We are here for you!  

[Kezzabear]

Hi,

I hope you're doing okay. I lost my Mum back in January and was feeling pretty much the same as you. I had no idea why I was feeling so angry and would often take it out on other people. They didn't mind too much as they knew what I was going through. I think it's the initial shock of someone so close to you been taken from you so quickly. In my case, it was totally unexpected as her heart just stopped (SADS). We have to give ourselves time to adapt to what life is going to be like without them. It's a big change, especially if you are used to seeing them every day.

I always turned to reading as my way of coping. Finding a good book can take you away from reality - if you can concentrate on it that is! Keeping yourself busy at work helped me for a while, spending time with my family and boyfriend or just going out doing normal things with my friends. Try not to spend too much time on your own but I get sometimes that's what you need. Treat yourself by doing something you enjoy. Have a pamper day or go shopping.

Time does actually make it a little better but don't beat yourself up about how you're feeling. It's good to cry to make sense of what happened. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them