just lost mom

[wifetoalpha]

I just lost my mom and I am lost there have been too many deaths this month but my mom just passed away on 8/19/2016 I have no idea how to deal I have been taking care of my mom for the past 2 years. this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do . I am wondering how am I going to celebrate my birthday which is the 30 of this month????? lost hurt and scared!! how do I deal?????

[Lisa k]

Wifetoalpha, sorry for your loss.  It's the most painful feeling on this earth. I lost my mum a year ago and I hate life without her.

I did not do xmas last year or celebrate my birthday and I won't do xmas this year either. If you feel you can't face it then don't worry about it. One day at a time, grief is so hard. Go easy on yourself and don't let anyone tell you to move on because grief has no timeline. I'm nowhere near being over the loss of my best friend, it still hurts like hell. You can be proud of yourself for taking care of your mum as its no easy task.I took care of my mum until she passed at home and it was the hardest thing to watch.

Talk here as often as you need and be kind to yourself. 

Hugs Lisa 

[Maya77]

Im sorry for your loss  I know how it feels, I just recently lost my mom (also just a couple of days before my birthday). As for that, I decided (with my dad) that we wont do anything special for that day. I only lit a candle for my mom (which we do anyway every day), but I havent done anything on that day. I logged off of all social media, havent really replied to text message or picked up phone, and I feel like it really helped me, the seclusion from the outside world. 

I also feel like you will intuitively find a way to deal with the grief. Just do what you feel like. When I found out my mom has had only a few days to live (and even after her passing) I just started to clean the whole household. I did the worst of chores, cleaned up windows, dusted everything that crossed my path, completely scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned up all of the cupboards in the kitchen....for some reason, it felt really therapeutical. My dad told me a lot of times to take it easy, but I just kept on cleaning, because it just made me feel better. So, do what you feel like and how you feel like it. There is no right or wrong way to cope, if it helps you heal and at least make you feel a bit better, do it!