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Lost and scared


Meandhim

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I'm new to group. Not even sure how this goes.  I lost my soul mate 10 weeks ago. He passed away suddenly in his sleep. I'm so lost, scared, angry and in disbelief.

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I am sorry, ten weeks out is still pretty fresh.  I can understand all of the feelings you mentioned, that's how I felt at first too.  There will be others along to respond shortly...I am glad you found this place, it really helps to express your feelings and know you are heard by people who understand.  (((hugs)))

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StillLoveMelanie

I understand how you feel.  I'm closing in on the fifth month since I lost the woman I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with.  We were together for three and a half years.  I thought we'd have at least twenty together.  We were going to get married after my daughter graduated high school in two years, so our kids wouldn't have to switch schools. Now, I regret we didn't marry.  I don't think it would have made this any easier, but I think about how much more time I could have had with her.

I'm very sorry for your loss.  Ten weeks is very fresh.  I think one of the worst things that happen is that your life seems to slow down, almost stop, while everyone around you is moving on.  I still feel very alone.  We used to hike a lot.  I want to go hiking again, but can't get myself to go without her.  We used to kayak at my brothers cottage on a river.  She loved that place and we would go there a lot.  The first few trips there this summer were very hard for me. I would just sit and think about her or have to go for a walk to be on my own.  It was hard to do anything without her, because we did everything together.  Even trips to the grocery store were hard.  I remember in the first two months thinking that I couldn't and didn't want to go on.  I think it took three plus months for me before I started to feel anything other than grief.  Don't get me a wrong, I still do grieve, but there are times during the day when I don't.  I went to my brothers cottage two weekends ago.  I still miss her and wish she was there, but I was still able to have a good time.  Even on a normal day,  I'll have a good day thinking about her and the good times we had, then I'll see a picture of somewhere we wanted to hike and I'll start crying, hard, but i dont cry as hard or as often as i did at ten weeks.  I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but i am starting to believe there is one.  At ten weeks, I didn't.  

I'm not sure if any of this relates to you or not, but know you are not alone if this.  Like I have said, ten weeks is still very fresh.  You're just in the beginning of this.  I read a book (don't remember which one) that talks about grief work.  It is work, because there will be times where you will find yourself pushing through it.  To quote my brother, "it's a long road and there aren't any short cuts".  You will be on a roller coaster of emotions for some time.  I still talk to her, argue with her, and cry over her.  I know I will always miss her and I know you will always miss him as well, but we go on, better people for having them in our lives.  

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I'm very early into this myself, just 6 weeks. I only come here at night, at bedtime. This is my safe zone. You are not alone. Please reach out if you feel the need. I hate that I am here but you have found a group of people that know what you're going through and can maybe help you walk this road. They help me every day.

 

 

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Dear Meandhim

I'm so sorry, to hear about you're sudden loss.
I can't imagine how you are struggling.

Try not to feel lost, but Log in when you can in here, as we are all here to help and support, as best as we know how.
There is no agenda here.

 

Take Care

Ritchie

 

 

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20 hours ago, StillLoveMelanie said:

To quote my brother, "it's a long road and there aren't any short cuts".

For sure!  And I'm sorry for your loss too. :(

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