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New Here My Wife Went On Ahead


robbarb

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Hello,

 I was looking for a site on grief, when I cam across this site.You see 3 weeks ago my Beautiful Wife Barb, went to be with Jesus after battling cancer for 8 yrs. I am from England and for past 5 yrs have been coming back and forward to USA to look after her. 3 yrs ago I asked her to marry me and it took 2yrs to sort out immigration and finally last July I sold up in England and moved here to Ohio  USA, and last September 20th we got married. It was happiest time of our lives, and now 11 months on ..SIGH!!!  she is gone.. and I miss her so much.. I now am all alone in a small town with just a couple of friends, and its so hard.

Barb loved life so much and we so much enjoyed each other, she was only 48yrs old, so young.  Life does not prepare you for any of this, now I have all these emotions and got to some how keep going, I so depended on Barb, she was wonderful, caring, loving, kind, patient, my Rock..my every thing...

I know I have our memories but when I think of them they hurt as we wanted so many more.  Cancer is an evil disease and I hate it so much.

  Thank you for your posts as I have been reading them, and I know I am not alone in feeling the pain of a lost loved one....

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I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I came to this board 3 years ago after losing my husband and it was a life line for me. Only those who have lost someone they love can understand how you're feeling and this is a good place to find help and support. I hope you will find some peace.

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Thank You for kind words, You said you lost husband 3 yrs ago, is the pain you felt then still same or has it got easier for you. People say time is a good healer, but I cannott imagine being healed from this. Thank You again

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I still have some bad days but most of the time I feel like I am ok with everything. I would not wish Rod back in the condition he was in when he died and I have made peace with the fact he could not go on (non-hodgkins with chemo complications affecting his lungs.) It takes time. I hate saying that but it really does.  At first there was a good day now and then, then a couple together and then more and more until they outnumbered the bad ones. We all heal at our own pace...for me it took 3 years to come to this point. I wish you well in your grief journey however long it may be.

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  Hi , Thank you for your reply, I know what you mean about good days and bad days, struggling with that., But I think its very early days for me.

 Barb  had cancer and it was the side effects that really got to her, she was such a fighter then her body got tired. I so miss her  and with me being from England and all my family and friends in UK and I am living in small town in Ohio, life is really hard.

  How Old was  Rod??  My Barb was only 48 yrs old ... so young ... Sigh!!

  Wishing you all the best ... and Thank You again...

                                             Rob

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Hello!

Could you take a moment out of your days and elect Beyond Indigo for the spotlight program for American Express? You have to register but then you can vote for us. We need 50 nominations by tomorrow night Midnight!! If we win then we receive 100,000 dollars which I want to put towards a site administrator for this website. Can you please help and pass the word to the others?

Just go to http://shinealight.ivillage.com/, click nominees and type in Beyond Indigo and our name will pop up. The direct link to the page is here at

http://shinealight.ivillage.com/nominees/?PerPage=10&Order=&x=0&y=0&Search=Beyond+Indigo.

Let's shoot for 50 plus nominees by tomorrow night! Thank you for your help.

Kelly Baltzell

Founder

Beyond Indigo

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Rob,

Rod was a very young 71. Very lively and active until he was diagnosed. Then he was sick 5 yrs. before he died. Chemo was supposed to take care of his lymphoma but he had an unusual side effect that ruined his lungs.

It would be hard to be so far away from home. I am lucky to have family and a lot of friends. Have you tried a support group? Hospice runs them and there's an organization called Beginning Experience (non-demoninational) through the Catholic Church that has a good program. Or you could check with a funeral home. The groups aren't for everyone but you may want to think about one.

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 HI,

 Thank you for message, yes I have joined a grief support group and have had one session, so hope to get more out of it. Life is hard this week, as this was week we where so happy preparing for our marriage on 20 september, would have been a 1 year, I miss Barb so much and she should be celebrating our first year anniversary.

  Got  to keep going ... Best Wishes  ,,,, Rob

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I'm so sorry about your wife.  I know it is not easy to go on with out the love of our life. 

Your right cancer is a horrible evil disease.  It is so heart breaking to watch them suffer.

It will be 12 yrs in May that I have lost my husband.  He was only 38 yrs old.  He died of a massive heart attack.  We had no warning signs or anything,  Our 2 sons were 12 & 16. 

I was told he didn't feel a thing which we are grateful for but it still didn't help what we were feeling and going through.   We all will cherish our memories, but knowing that someday we will see him again helps a great deal.

 

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