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How do I deal?


Sarahleecupcake

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Sarahleecupcake

I don't even know how to start but by actually telling how I feel. I lost my mom, best friend, only parent, my world 3 years ago to brain cancer. It was very aggressive and she only had it for 2 months before becoming stage 4. 4-6 months she had left the doctors told her but she said nope don't you put a timeline on me-she fought so aggressively back at that cancer and lasted 9 months. She never gave up or let it keep her down. Christmas Day everything changed she turned in a whole another person that was not her typical self. Me and my little sister took care of her every single day until she passed. she was my whole world she raised me by herself my dad never really wanted me so it was just me and her and my little sister. She just turned 21 last year but I was her legal guardian up until then. Even though it's been 3 years since she has passed away I'm still having a really hard time accepting her death some days I still find myself in shock that she's never coming back. I really don't talk about it too much bc I don't really have anyone to understand or even Listen. I just miss her and think about her every single day and nothing in my life has been the same since she's been gone. I don't know how this whole group thing works I guess I'm just looking for people to talk to who are feeling the same as me. I just want to know if this is normal to keep grieving this long? Any advice anyone has I'm so open to it. My mom was the most beautiful caring compassionate funny smart strongest woman I've ever known. I just miss her and love her so much. How do I cope?

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Hi, sarahleecupcake, sorry for your loss. You are not alone so please come here and talk. My mum died July 2015 from lung cancer. She was my world, my best friend, my everything. I don't really have anyone to talk to either except this forum.  My father has never been part of our lives, I have a brother who is 3 years older than myself and he has schizophrenia and I am agarophobic so don't have friends or leave the house often. I cared for my mum for 9months until she passed at home with me by her side. In the end it went to her brain and her behaviour changed a lot. I understand when you say your mum wasn't herself. I miss my mum so much too and I really can't cope with never seeing her again or talking to her. Greif has no timeline and I miss her more everyday. I had a heart attack back in February this year, I believe it was from all the sress of watching her slowly die. I wished I had too as I don't want to live without her. It's so lonely and I'm very depressed.  Be proud of yourself for looking after her and your younger sister. It is not easy any of it. I take care of my older brother as I promised my mum I would. You can post on the daily thread as most of us talk there, so join us if you like. 

Take care and I hope to talk to you soon.

Hugs Lisa. 

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