Members Krantz Posted August 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 So its been 2 months since I last saw my love. I'm so depressed. I don't have the energy to do things that I used to enjoy doing, for example cooking, art, outdoors, etc. All I want to do is lay there. I miss him so very much.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted August 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 Krantz, I am so very sorry about you loss. Go to your doctor and tell her you are depressed and have no energy. Also, keep coming here and talking to others. Talking is the best way to heal. He would not want to you just lay there and do nothing, would he? So, muster the energy to get up, even for a few minutes. It will get better. We will be here with you, ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff In Denver Posted August 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 4, 2016 I am so sorry to hear that, but I understand. I gotta say, "The Light Between Us" (recommended by someone here) is really helping me. Have you read any of it? It offers hope that we can communicate with those who are on the other side, that they haven't really left... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 5, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 2 hours ago, Krantz said: I don't have the energy to do things that I used to enjoy doing, for example cooking, art, outdoors, etc. All I want to do is lay there. Grief is hard work! It takes a lot out of us! Be kind and understanding of yourself. If you went through a brain trauma, no one would expect you to continue like it never happened...in a way, loss/grief is like a brain trauma. It shakes up our world, it changes us. Don't expect too much of yourself, but continue to stretch yourself a bit...you'll find what feels right to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted August 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 As KayC said, grief is hard work. Grief is a trauma that we cannot see, and yet is is one of the greatest hurts we can experience. Our brains are working overtime to help us process this great loss and that takes a lot of energy. Take it easy on yourself, but do try to get up and do something everyday, even if it is as small as sitting outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 5, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 Right. Upward mobility, no matter how small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted August 5, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 Thank you everyone! I just feel so exhausted anymore. Like all I want to do is sleep. Is this a common part of the grieving process, just feeling emotionally and mentally drained? I have friends and family who are keeping me busy especially during the weekends, but at the same time I prefer having the life I had with Adam. He made me so happy and I feel like I'll never find happiness anymore. He was amazing and it's so unfair that he was taken away.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BigKev Posted August 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 I have no wise words to offer, no way to ease your pain. Just breathe..........and breathe again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted August 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 33 minutes ago, Krantz said: Like all I want to do is sleep. Is this a common part of the grieving process, just feeling emotionally and mentally drained? Yep, it sure is! Your brain is working overtime to process all of the stuff you have experienced and will experience. That is a whole ton of energy. You are going to feel tired for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Karin Posted August 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 I lost my boyfriend 3 weeks ago today and I feel exactly the same as you. Only difference is I was already depressed before he was taken from me. He helped me and now I feel so lost. I miss him so much. I don't know how I will survive this, I'm not even sure I want to survive. I wish I died with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 5, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted August 5, 2016 Krantz, As claribassist said, yes it's normal. Our brains have been through deep trauma and it is exhausting. Karin, I'm sorry for your loss. We can all relate to the missing them. You survive by taking one day at a time and being kind and understanding of yourself and all you're going through. I strongly encourage you to find a grief counselor as soon as possible, esp. in light of your depression, to help you find your way through this. Your feelings are normal, grief makes us feel that way but it's important to learn how to continue in the face of these changes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingMyJC Posted August 24, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 24, 2016 I lost the love of my life and my soulmate 2 months ago. We were going to be married. We were going to have a family. I feel like I have nothing. He was my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted August 25, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted August 25, 2016 14 hours ago, MissingMyJC said: I lost the love of my life and my soulmate 2 months ago. We were going to be married. We were going to have a family. I feel like I have nothing. He was my best friend. I understand how you feel MissingMyJC. I lost my fiancé going on 3 months now and we are supposed to get married this September and now our future plans are going instantly. Adam was my best friend and soul mate as well. Please continue to take care of yourself and surround yourself with support with family and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 25, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted August 25, 2016 MissingMyJC, I am sorry for your loss, not only for your soulmate, but also for all of your dreams. It took me a lifetime to find my soulmate and we were so happy together, we looked forward to growing old together...that wasn't to be. He lives on inside of me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingMyJC Posted August 26, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2016 On 8/25/2016 at 7:07 AM, Krantz said: I understand how you feel MissingMyJC. I lost my fiancé going on 3 months now and we are supposed to get married this September and now our future plans are going instantly. Adam was my best friend and soul mate as well. Please continue to take care of yourself and surround yourself with support with family and friends. Krantz, I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. I'm feeling the same way. I hope you are coping as best as you can. I try every day, as I am assuming you do too. Reach out if you want to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingMyJC Posted August 26, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2016 On 8/25/2016 at 10:46 AM, KayC said: MissingMyJC, I am sorry for your loss, not only for your soulmate, but also for all of your dreams. It took me a lifetime to find my soulmate and we were so happy together, we looked forward to growing old together...that wasn't to be. He lives on inside of me... Thank you so much.The things that trigger me to cry are so random. How do you cope? What do you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingMyJC Posted August 26, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 26, 2016 On 8/5/2016 at 6:58 AM, Karin said: I lost my boyfriend 3 weeks ago today and I feel exactly the same as you. Only difference is I was already depressed before he was taken from me. He helped me and now I feel so lost. I miss him so much. I don't know how I will survive this, I'm not even sure I want to survive. I wish I died with him. I'm so sorry. Its so hard. I lost my love almost 3 months ago. I hear your loss. He would want you to carry on. That's at least what people told me. But I know he would. I cry every day. Its almost impossible every day. But another day goes on, another memory continues, he lives within you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members velvettuberose Posted August 27, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 18 hours ago, MissingMyJC said: I'm so sorry. Its so hard. I lost my love almost 3 months ago. I hear your loss. He would want you to carry on. That's at least what people told me. But I know he would. I cry every day. Its almost impossible every day. But another day goes on, another memory continues, he lives within you. You are right, MissingMyJC. They truly and undoubtedly live within us. We carry their love and their memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 27, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 How did I go with it? I cried. I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. It's okay to cry. Maybe get help for the depression you had before you lost him, I'd start with a checkup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingMyJC Posted October 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 Thanks, I see a therapist 2 times a month. Yesterday was hard for some reason. Thanks so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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