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I'm not myself since it happened


CeeJayGee

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She passed away on 12/17/15 and I haven't been the same since. I've gain like 10ish lbs, randomly start crying for no reason at all, I don't feel like I have purpose, don't feel motivated and a burden to others. I feel like a crazy person for being so sad this long. I don't want to be around others because I feel like I'm being boring and sad around them. Before this I was the happiest person but now, I am yet to see a photo of me expressing a genuine smile. 

I'm scared because I feel like if I don't catch myself I'm only going to get bigger, ruin relationships or be depressed forever. 

When does this stop and when am I i going to feel normal again? My boyfriend and I are planning on engagement soon.... am I not going to enjoy this time since my Mom isn't here? 

I miss her so much I can hardly breath sometimes. I know that she is no longer suffering....so that comforts me. 

My MOM was  huge part of my life.. a part now that I've managed to fill with food and TV. If she saw my now I feel she'd be disappointed. I want to make her proud and happy.  

Desperately wanting to feel better. 

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Lucylocket1712

I know how you feel I lost my mum 10 weeks ago today she was my best friend and like you I just eat and cry, even my 9 year old said to me the other day what are you crying about now mummy :angry: I don't want to get out of bed let alone go out. When I think she gone I feel sick to my stomach. I'm sorry I don't have any really good suggestions. I have joined a slimming class that has helped only small loss but it's a start. I do know when I was sad she would do anything to cheer me up so if she could see me she wouldn't want me to be like this. Try doing what you feel she would tell you to do. Take care xxx

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I am so sorry for both of your losses.  I think it is safe to say that most of us feel like that after such a devastating loss.  Nothing is ever the same when a parent leaves us.  Our feelings become raw and we are different people.  One thing I have learned is that there is no time frame with grieving.  For everyone it is different but we all go through the same kinds of emotions.  That being said, time really is a healer.  In time the weight of the sadness does lift and in more time we are able to draw on our good memories and even get some joy in thinking about them.  I say cry when the tears come and let em flow.  Tears are also healing.  
 

The thing that really helped me was that every time my heart got heavy in missing my parents I would give thanks to our Father in Heaven for blessing me in having them for parents.  I got comfort in that and also comfort in knowing that they are in a good place now, they are at peace and there is no more pain, suffering, sadness where they are.  Today in honour of my mom and dad I try to be the best person that I can be.  I know they would want that for me.  I try to carry on with my life the best that I can so that one day when it is my turn to depart, that I will be reunited with them.  

I hope this helps ... take care

Cindy Jane

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