Members Ange5841 Posted July 27, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 27, 2016 How can this all be real? I'm sure we've all sat there and asked ourselves this question over and over and over again. But, this is seriously something I can NOT wrap my head around! My husband passed away on may 22nd this year when a young 18 year old boy fell asleep at the wheel and struck my husband head on. He was 29 years old. I was told he passed quickly as he was gone before I arrived at the hospital. My husband was the strongest man I know. He provided for my children and I so I could finish college, he was kind, he lived his life to the fullest , he was my best friend! Now I sit here more heart broken than I've ever been in my life and literally stunned by his sudden death. On top of grieving for the love of my life I am now going through a criminal case. It has been a little over 2 months since my husbands accident and we still have no answers as to WHY this kid fell asleep at the wheel... I feel like I'm stuck here unable to properly grieve because I have no answers. I keep hearing rumor upon rumor but no concrete answers. The rumors are torturous by the way. My children and I just need to move on. I hear a criminal and civil suit combined can take up to 4 years to settle! 2 years for criminal and 2 for civil. Has anyone been through this?? Some days I wake up and wonder how or if I will be able to handle everything! The kids (ages 4 and 2 ), the bills, my husbands business, the lawsuits, and just life! At the end of the day I make it through but most days it's like trying to get out of quicksand just to get through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 27, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 27, 2016 Ange, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, that your children and you are missing your husband, that you find your life now about upward struggles of lawsuits, justice (as if there is such a thing!), the mess left behind to deal with. I can imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling. No, I haven't been through what you are going through as my husband died of a heart attack. I could have sued the doctor for negligence but for me it was hard enough just going to work and remembering to eat something. My children were grown so I didn't have young children to raise. I hope you have help from family. If you do go through lawsuits, I hope the lawyers bear most of it, not you. It would be hard enough just attending the trial, that's something only you can decide. I hope you get some answers. I think most of us have learned there seems to be no resounding answers as to "why" their deaths occurred. We wanted answers, just none seemed forthcoming, I finally quit asking why. I pray you have strength to get through today...one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ange5841 Posted July 27, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 27, 2016 Thank you kayc! So far my lawyers have been amazing helping me through everything! I hope someday I'll stop looking for a reason why. I am so sorry about your husband. Breaks my heart every time I hear another story of love lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Forever His x Posted July 27, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 27, 2016 Hello Ange , Im also sorry for your loss just like you are others , i am in the same situation as you , only difference being the other bloke wasnt asleep , we have to wait untill august to find out what has happened and to be honest i dont want to know it wont bring him back will it , and he cant say his side can he ! . we also have a 15 month old so i really feel the connection there with you as you have little children aswell , my fiance was only 26 . i cant believe any of this has happened and suppose have the same question why . Life is so cruel and pointless now . its hard enough trying to get through the day when you dont want to let alone a little one relying on you and having to carry on . Then you have the anger because your still waiting for an answer so cant fully grieve as theres just to much going on , its such a struggle . How are you coping with the children ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted July 27, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 27, 2016 Ange, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I recently lost my fiancé from a heart attack in June and we were only 3.5 months away from our wedding. I feel like I want to immediately contact Adam if something happened, etc. because I'm always contacted him throughout the day and be with him at night. I miss him so much. 'm so depressed.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 28, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 15 hours ago, Ange5841 said: On top of grieving for the love of my life I am now going through a criminal case. It has been a little over 2 months since my husbands accident and we still have no answers as to WHY this kid fell asleep at the wheel... I feel like I'm stuck here unable to properly grieve because I have no answers. I keep hearing rumor upon rumor but no concrete answers. The rumors are torturous by the way. Ange, my fiance was killed in a car accident 7 months ago. While I do not have to go through a civil or criminal case, I can relate to having no answers. There is no really explanation for how my fiance's accident was caused and that still drives me crazy. I read both the police and coroner's reports to see if I could figure out what happened. No answers. I am a person who likes to plan, who likes to know all the details, and not knowing how he died is still something I struggle with greatly. I hope that justice will prevail on your side. Remember that you have gone through 2 months already. You can do this. Make sure to keep a strong grip on all of the support you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ange5841 Posted July 28, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 ForeverHis-- Im so sorry for your loss. Such a similar tragedy we have I am doing my best to keep the kids busy and happy. Some days it's hard to even get out of bed but I ask myself what good is this doing... what would my husband be saying. I hate that I even have to say those words!! Krantz-- I can so relate to your pain! My husband was my go to for everything! I've had several moment where I've thoughtried "oh, I can wait to tell Tom what happened!" Or "Tom will be so excited that gianna went peeped of the potty"! He was always there for us and he prided himself on being my husband and a father. I know he is with us but it's not the way I want or need him to be!!! I am so sorry for your loss and I'm so sorry you didn't get your wedding it's not fair! Clairi-- I am so sorry about your fiancé! So tragic and extremely hard not knowing any details of the accident! We were "lucky" (is there's a such thing) to have a lot of witnesses see what happened it's just a matter of figuring out why it happened. Was the kid drunk, high, or none of the above! I don't know why I feel like I NEED TO know this but I do. I actually went to a medium last night (not sure if you believe in this) and my husband came through and spoke to me! It was amazing. My biggest fear through this whole criminal case is me becoming so angry that it will take over my life... when I went to the medium she said my husband has me wrapped in his arms so tight that she couldn't see his face and that he is protecting me from the anger that is building up. I could not believe she said that because I have been so worried about it and I've beggedone my husband to help me through is and he is ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 28, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 It sounds like most of us don't have answers, whether by accident, heart attack, or other. You're right, it's harder to move on with our lives without answers...by move on, I do not mean FROM our Love, but rather adjust to our new circumstances. It's tough but it can be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 28, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 1 hour ago, Ange5841 said: Clairi-- I don't know why I feel like I NEED TO know this but I do. I actually went to a medium last night (not sure if you believe in this) and my husband came through and spoke to me! It was amazing. My biggest fear through this whole criminal case is me becoming so angry that it will take over my life... when I went to the medium she said my husband has me wrapped in his arms so tight that she couldn't see his face and that he is protecting me from the anger that is building up. I could not believe she said that because I have been so worried about it and I've beggedone my husband to help me through is and he is ♡ You need to know because it gives reason to the unreasonable. We both know that our loved ones died for no good reason. Knowing what caused the accident gives some sort of a reason for their death, no matter how lame the reason is. It's something. I not sure what I believe in regards to that. I am very happy to hear that you had such a positive experience though. It's important for us to remember how loved we are by those who have already passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 30, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 30, 2016 On 7/28/2016 at 6:58 AM, claribassist13 said: It's important for us to remember how loved we are by those who have already passed. Yes! I've never sought a medium and not sure what to think although I know those who have, but the important thing is that you feel assurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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