How do I survive the loss of my sweet Emily?

[lori726]

I just lost my 9 year old mini golden doodle yesterday. She was fine just three days ago and got suddenly sick. She had cancer of the spleen and had to be put down. She was in pain and couldn't breathe. My father passed away only three days ago and she got sick on my birthday. I feel overwhelming grief. I loved the dog beyond words. She sat by me everyday and slept right next to me. She would be so excited to see me when I came home from work. She followed me everywhere and was my best friend. The dog comforted me when I had cancer and was too sick to get off the couch. She never left my side and provided me joy during a tough time. I am so grateful for her and owe her so much. I held her while she died and feel so guilty that I couldn't help her. I feel guilty wondering if I should of waited one more day before I put her down. I couldn't bear to see her struggling so much. I know she loved me as much as I loved her. I miss her so much and feel so empty without her. I love you Emily and I will never forget you. Thank you for being the best friend I have ever had. You were a part of our family and we will never forget you. 

How does one overcome such grief?

[cwt24]

I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet dog, a beautiful one at that.  Allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself time and just remember that others who have ever loved a pet , feel the same as you when losing them. Their short lives are difficult to understand. They should all live as long as people, I think.  They deserve longer lives, here with us.  

God bless and keep her close to you, in your heart she will remaine.

[KayC]

Oh my dear friend, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet companion.  To lose your father and your dog so close together just seems so wrong!  I don't think grief is something we get over, but rather it evolves.  In the beginning we're in disbelief and it takes a while to process the loss and muddle our way through the grief.  

Like cwt24 ways, they should live as long as people.  That would be wonderful!

You ask how you make your way through this...by taking one day at a time.  Sometimes that will be one minute at a time.  Take good care of yourself.  Be sure to eat healthy and drink plenty of water because it can be easy to forget when you're grieving...taking care of ourselves ensures we have the best possible chance of making our way through this as optimally as we can.  Get exercise, it helps our brain to think more clearly and when we're in the fog of grief, our brain/focus can be affected.  Part time distraction can help give us a brief break in our grief, so long as we aren't constantly busy trying to drown it out.  We have to let ourselves grieve, feel the pain, there's no way around it but straight through it.

Those that try to avoid it find it still waiting for them whenever they come to.

Keep in mind that it won't always feel as painful as it does today, with this level of intensity, we wouldn't be able to handle that.  Our bodies have a way of protecting us by having us adjust little by little and learning how to cope.  The memories will always be with you and while thinking of your dog today brings pain, in time it will bring a smile as you reflect back on your time together.  Yes, we'll always wish we could have them back, that's just how it is, but it won't be as painful as it it feels right now.

(((hugs)))

[Shanna]

I feel the same way I don't know what to do with myself it's almost to much to handle. Feel so guilty as well that I couldn't do more for him. Helps to see I'm not alone but how do we continue on?

[KayC]

I wish I knew.  I've lost countless dogs and cats over the years...I don't know how I've gotten through it, but eventually get another one.  It doesn't replace the one we lost, but they do make a spot in our hearts all their own.  I like having a spot for them on my property with a memorial stone to remember them by but sometimes we don't have a body to bury, that seems harder.  Getting through those broken routines seems the hardest.