Members Saurav Posted July 16, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 My father passed away at the age of 55yrs from sudden onset septicemic shock on May 25. I'm 25yrs old and am a recent passout from Med school and all I could do was to stand helplessly to witness my dad's last moment in the ICU. My father was the sole inspiration in my life. In spite of the occasional fight with him, it was my dad whom i have always idolised till date. And I was probably his most favourite thing in the world, yes he loved me a lot. Everything I did in my life was only to make my dad proud of me. After a month and a half of trying to come in terms with reality, now suddenly I have realised a big void in my life. I feel numb day and night, I can't study anymore, I don't even feel the urge to do well in the upcoming exams that I have, nor do I feel like going back to work. At times I try to accept the fact that I won't be able to see him or talk to him or seek his advice anymore; and the next moment I'm in tears. Just the thought that I would have to live a life from now on, which my dad won't be a part of, kills me from within. It's like the light of my life has dimmed forever. I'm having all these insecurities boiling inside me, which surprisingly I find very difficult to share with friends and family. I wish to get sound advice from this forum. Thanks a lot for bearing with me. Regards.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted July 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 I am so sorry for your loss Saurav. When it comes to losing a loved one, we all stand helpless whether we have been blessed to be there in their final moments or not. This was probably the most difficult thing we can go through in this life....knowing we can't do a darn thing about it when it is someone's time to go "home." Your father sounds like a good man filled with love. That void may always be there but my experience is that time is a real healer and that void feels less void ... if that makes any sense. The only suggestion I can offer is the thing that helped (still helps me). Be the best person that you can be in whatever you are doing in honour of your father. You know that he would want the very best for you so live your life to the fullest and be good to everyone....this would make him happy. take care Cindy Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Saurav Posted July 19, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 I can't thank you enough for your kind reply Cindy Jane. Yes, I would try to be the best of what I am left with. I know the times are hard and we all have to fight through this phase. It's just that when I look around to find people of my age living their 'happy' lives as I myself was a couple of months ago, it saddens me deeply. I acknowledge this is my damage speaking, yet it hurts so much. What would I not do to be in my old happy place even if for a brief moment ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lauryn Posted August 1, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 Saurav, I am very sorry for your loss. I am currently in a similar situation. It is hard for me to see a world without my funny, kind, loving dad in it. He was also crazy about education with my sister and I. All he wanted was for us to do well in school and be successful. He was looking forward to my sister's high school graduation and my college graduation. Nothing made him prouder of his girls. He passed 6 days before my college graduation and one month before my sisters. I was continuing my education because of his influence on education but since his passing I no longer feel the motivation to pursue my masters degree. I have been discussing this with friends and family. Everyone trying to help me get passed it. My mom told me to "do it for him" the other day. Since then I have regained a little motivation but there is still a hole. I know he would not only want me to do it for him but for me too. I'm sure your dad would want you to do the same. We can both do this for them and us! Hope that helps a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Saurav Posted August 1, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2016 Lauryn, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. And that too just before such a big day in your life. I'm sure you have already made him proud and will keep doing so in the days to come. I too have friends who are always trying to push me through this phase, but at times even their kindest words fail to comfort the void that has been created in my mind. A close friend has even said that I'm not trying enough to get over this. But I wonder how can one suddenly get over one's father's memories in a couple of months. I'm not even sure if I want to... Yes Lauryn, we are stuck in this incredibly tough situation, and we ourselves have to overcome all odds "for them and us". Wish you luck in your pursuit of the Masters degree. And thanks for the inspiring words, they indeed helped a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lauryn Posted August 2, 2016 Members Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 I'm sure you're dad is very proud of you as well. I hope that they are together discussing how smart and inspiring their kids are. Sadly, there is no getting over this and no one can compare to what you are going through. Everyone grieves individually and differently. You shouldn't get over your memories. You should love and cherish them as I do. Sometimes it upsets me to think about but when I do I realize how great it is that I have them and how happy we were. I personally would never want to forget them and would be deeply hurt if I was ever told I should. Wishing you luck as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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