Members Krantz Posted July 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 So tomorrow is the cremation burial and my nerves are out the roof.. Last month, we couldn't have the burial, so this weekend worked best for everyone. We're only having immediate family attending, but I feel like we are reopening the wound. I was just starting to heal (not fast at all), but I feel like we're going backwards.. I'm so dreading it, but I need to do this not only for his family but for Adam... Bottom line, tomorrow is going to suck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff In Denver Posted July 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 I am so sorry. I wish I had the right words. But even if I did, they wouldn't help. I think it's normal to have a step forward, two steps back, three forward, etc. This is just a long, slow, and painful process. I think that writing helps. There are a lot of good, caring people here, and your continuing to share your thoughts here might be helpful to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 15, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Krantz, I'm sorry, I know it's hard to go through. You will get through this and yes, it might knock you down, but you won't stay there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted July 15, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Thank you for your support. It will be tough, but I'm thinking of taking a long walk alone afterwards just to clear my mind. We have some nice parks with peaceful lakes in PA, so I might just take a long hike or something. Hopefully, it wont be too hot.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members velvettuberose Posted July 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know...the wound will be open again and will hurt that deep pain you think it will crush you, but it will be short. After that, you will take a walk, talk to Adam, cry...do whatever you think it will bring you comfort. We won't be there with you, but will be thinking about you. Sending love and strength towards you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 15, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 That sounds like a good plan...I love to spend time walking in nature as a way of processing things, it helps me tremendously. You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Yes, the day will definitely suck, but take this as a moment to really honor Adam. Cry, tell a favorite story, sing his favorite songs... Whatever will make the service not just a horrible burden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Millie681 Posted July 16, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 Krantz, I am so sorry for everything you have been through . It will be tough but after when you take that long walk you cry , scream do whatever to bring you comfort. Sending love your way..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Krantz, I've been thinking about you today. I hope that today allowed for some measure of peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted July 17, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. Yesterday was extremely difficult but got through it. Luckily the service was super short, but with having a burial, reality hit and telling us this is final closure. I'm moving back home today. I figured to give it a shot. I've been living with his family since Adam passed away, but it might be good to challenge myself to be alone, especially that my love is no longer around and I'm getting homesick. I have our dog that will keep me company.. but its going to suck with not having Adam there... His family, friends, and I are going to the house to help me rearrange the furniture, just so it doesn't look exactly the way we left off before he passed. I hope that helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Please let us know how all of that goes! In the meantime, I'll be sure to send lots of prayers your way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Forever His x Posted July 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 6 hours ago, Krantz said: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. Yesterday was extremely difficult but got through it. Luckily the service was super short, but with having a burial, reality hit and telling us this is final closure. I'm moving back home today. I figured to give it a shot. I've been living with his family since Adam passed away, but it might be good to challenge myself to be alone, especially that my love is no longer around and I'm getting homesick. I have our dog that will keep me company.. but its going to suck with not having Adam there... His family, friends, and I are going to the house to help me rearrange the furniture, just so it doesn't look exactly the way we left off before he passed. I hope that helps! im sorry you had to go through all of that again . today i have got back after visiting family for the weekend , and i didnt realise how much i would of wanted to come back home , we are going to start re arranging the house just like you are so its not so much of a kick in the face . so i have mixed emotions as im happy to be home where i feel close to him yet sad and upset because his not here . it also helped me with my decision to not move and to stay . so to be honest i feel like im on a air hockey table all over the place , but i suppose i need to try and not work the feelings out today as its been a long weekend and very very challenging . hope you feel ok going home have to let me know how you feel as were doing similar things . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members velvettuberose Posted July 17, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 7 hours ago, Krantz said: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. Yesterday was extremely difficult but got through it. Luckily the service was super short, but with having a burial, reality hit and telling us this is final closure. I'm moving back home today. I figured to give it a shot. I've been living with his family since Adam passed away, but it might be good to challenge myself to be alone, especially that my love is no longer around and I'm getting homesick. I have our dog that will keep me company.. but its going to suck with not having Adam there... His family, friends, and I are going to the house to help me rearrange the furniture, just so it doesn't look exactly the way we left off before he passed. I hope that helps! Krantz, you did it! I think moving back home and being alone may help you. A bit of space for your thoughts...It will be hard in the beginning, but it becomes easier with time. I had the same service for my husband, but it was almost 6 months after he passed. It has difficult for me to part ways with his cremains, but I did it for him. He would have wanted to be entombed in a military cemetery given that he was in the Army. He earned it. It is a month today since the service. It was painful short after that, but I managed in a way to get back to healing ( as slow as that is taking place). Counseling, my best friend, my family back in Romania...all these are helping little by little. If you need us, we are here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted July 18, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Thank you so very much. It was super hard, especially when I realized how quiet our house is. His family and friends helped me rearrange our house and I swap couches with his brother, so our house looks really nice and welcoming. It was hard bringing our dog back home because he sits by the front door waiting for Adam to come home. It was heart breaking. His family is planning a big yard sale this Saturday, so this gives me time to go through stuff to be included. I'm not cleaning out any sentimental stuff, just random stuff that I had over the years and no longer needed. So that gives me something to focus on at nights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 18, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 Our dog was very well trained and obedient, and I remember when my husband died, how she acted out. I couldn't figure out what got into her (I was still in a fog) and my daughter pointed out that she was grieving. I realized then that I needed to give her extra TLC & attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 18, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 For a week after my fiance's death the family dogs were constantly on guard. With as much as we were crying and all of that, I am sure they were very concerned for whatever was going on. Isn't is amazing how perceptive they are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 19, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 It's not surprising, dogs are very intuitive, They're amazing creatures, I always felt they were God's greatest gift to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krantz Posted July 19, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Having our dog by my side has helped me tremendously. Adam raised him when he was a puppy and now Pede is turning 5 this year. I feel like having Pede is like having part of Adam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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