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SomethingReal

I can no longer envision my future

3 posts in this topic

It was a turbulent relationship, but I loved him and was prepared to overlook his faults, and just focus on improving myself and therefore improving the relationship. He would never take responsibility and so didn't work on himself, but I knew that and accepted it. Eventually we got married. He is the love of my life. A year into the marriage and he's online all the time, talking to girls. I try to overlook it. Then he seems to have fallen for one of the girls, and I am pushed away and rejected more than ever. A divorce is on the cards. I go along with the plans, because I don't feel anything but numb and I just go along with what is asked of me. I know deep down he doesn't love me as much as I love him, and that us no longer being together is not within my control.

A few weeks later and I've moved back in with my own family - in the comfort of the bedroom I had as a kid. 

I find myself in a position of feeling my life is over, and I am just sticking around because I couldn't cause pain to my family by doing anything 'silly'. I've spoken to the Samaritans. I'm stable, yet I'm numb, and just drifting now. The divorce proceedings have already begun. I am confused as to how this has all happened. I can't imagine any kind of future for myself, the lowness is excruciating, the loneliness is awful.

If anybody wants to talk on WhatsApp or anything, DM me. I'd love to get to know others in a similar position.

I'm a 30 year old woman.

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I am 41 and I also have been in a turbulent relationship. On my 41 birthday I found out I was pregnant and I was petrified because my marriage is based of me forgiving all his mistakes. My soon to be x husband cheats, solicits prostitution, is a drug user and heavy drinker. I loved him and anything he did was forgotten and I would replace any negative memory with a positive memory. Last he went to China and he was sleeping with underage girls and he is 49. His was cashing vouchers in the hotel to pay this prostitutes and runs bill for $3,800 dollars plus his hotel stay of $2,300.  I still forgave him. However he wants a divorce because we had a leak in the bathroom while he was in China and I spent $2500 between plumber and tsheetrock and time guy because the whole thing had to be destroyed due to possible mold damage. At the end when he got back he was rude and mean to me and blamed me for spending his money, @ 7 months pregnant I was an emotional roller coaster and begged him to forgive me for my mistakes. The baby stroller and all the things I had purchased had to be returned to give him his money back. He complained to his mother and father and accused me of mental abuse. I was devastated and almost believed he was right about me. He made me feel unworthy of my own life I cried so much and even today I cry when I think of his words and his actions. He started to cheat on me openly and would tell me that I was not working as a woman and I was useless for a wife all this words would hurt me. Slowly I realized that I had to let him go he was unhappy with me and he needed to find happiness even after all that he did to me I wanted the best for him. Now I'm about to have his baby and I hurt in silence I pray and I hope that one day I will let this pain go and he will no longer hunt me. We are still married and living in the same house the most difficult thing to do. He will move out Monday and I cry when he is not looking, but I also know that him walking away is actually doing me a favor and setting me free because I would had never left him. I know it sound crazy but when you truly love someone you don't see the bad in them you look for the little good and make it an abundance of good in your brain and the bad is replaced with the good. But  I am learning that the bad needs to be pointed out or i will continue to live a lie. He wants a divorce and I should thank him one day just not today. 

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I can very well understand what you must be going through! It is very important to move ahead in life and start afresh! The best thing that you can do right now is get a job. whether it is part time or full time so that you will keep yourself busy and it will help you in moving on with life. My own sister had a very nice divorce recently which involved a lot of mud-slinging, character assasination from her husband's side. Although she eventually won the case thanks to her attoeney, (a renowned one based right here in Paris)she was distraught! So she joined support groups and works part-time at a nearby restaurant. She is recovering slowly, and I am sure so will you! Just don't loose hope!

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