Loss of mother after long illness

[Kari]

My mother died in January 2013 after fighting cancer for 20 years. The weeks and months that followed, my friends disappeared. I did not receive one bereavement card, flowers, or visits. Nothing. So, I returned to work and have been distracted ever since. I feel like I lost my faith in humanity along with the loss of my mother. I had invested years of my time and energy and support in their lives only to be abandoned in my time of need. I am still depressed and no one seems to care. I feel like the light has gone out of my life. Even people at work just gloss over my loss-and I've been there for 8 years. What makes it worse is that whenever anyone else experiences the loss of a loved one, everyone seems to fawn all over them. But i am alone. I will forever be shocked by the apathy of those around me. 

 

[seachelle]

That's devastating to not recieve any well wishes after such a profound loss.  I have to assume your coworkers are aware of the loss.  It's isolating enough, but then to return to work and be expected to act like normal is so hard.  A friend of mine went through something similar at our previous workplace, with coworkers fawning over another colleague going through a loss, but generally moving on quickly when my friend experienced her loss.  We are here for you!

[nutella1]

The attitude of others is a real bug bear of mine. I'm starting to feel resentful. Keep expectations low, just because they don't act like they care it doesn't mean noone does, I and plenty of others of here care. I'd do anything to take away your pain and the pain of all others on this forum

[Cigi]

Quote

 

I can relate to how you feel by the lack of support from  those around you.  I lost my Mom a week ago and I am struggling with it so much.  To make matters worse, a few childhood friends haven't bothered to contact me and it really sickens me to be honest.  I can't wrap my head around it and it has only deepened my sadness.  a card, a text, a voicemail, an email, something...anything!  What world will that ever be ok in?  Anyways, I guess it is what it is...I guess I will try and not expect too much from people and I wont be disappointed.

[Lisa k]

Kari, people can really SUCK!!!!.  When my mum died last year, my only family members I have left who live interstate did not even send a bereavement card. I was disappointed and thought it rude especially as they sent one when my grandmother died. So yeah don't expect too much from people. On the other hand we all understand the unbearable loss here.

Lisa 

[Tochter]

I have learned a long time ago that it is very dangerous to have coworker friends, especially now in today's age. After having been sexually harassed at work I had a whole bunch of coworkers that belittled and slandered me and had no problem to commit libel over and over again, in turn themselves turning into dangerous harassers. Even those I thought that would be helpful turned out to be wolves in sheep clothing. Such people lie very convincingly, and I have just learned that if someone turns away from you in such terrible situations such as the loss of a parent, well such a person would certainly be no good to you anyways. 

Real friends are very hard to find, and I found that many of my coworkers haven proven that the things they have been doing behind my back were only aimed at getting whatever I had coming to me. Such lessons really teach you though that those type of people are not worth it. Not a big loss if a liar or harasser is out of your life.