My mother is gone, and with her my purpose and my passion

[Seth]

My mother died about two months ago, and it doesn't seem as if I will ever feel good or right again.

I would never take my own life, (though thoughts of that nature occur to me most days). I do not wish to die, and I also know how vehemently she would be opposed to my committing suicide.

That said, I don't see much point in going on. I force myself through each day, but I feel little passion for life, or purpose in it.

I was fortunate in that I had my mother until my mid-fifties, but now that she's gone, that may make it worse. She was the central presence in my life for over half a century, and without her I am lost.

I realize that grieving is a process, and that things may improve, but it certainly doesn't feel that they will.

It feels as if I will never be truly happy again.

 

[nutella1]

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum.

My dad died almost 3 months ago and have been seeing a counsellor. I feel the same way as you, I don't see how I can ever be happy without my dad in my life and brought it up with the counsellor and she said I was being too hard on myself and pressuring myself to be OK when it will just take time and just to deal with the now

I'm taking the day minute by minute/hour by hour and avoiding thinking in the long term as it scares me and trying to find something positive in every day even if it's little. This is what I'm trying anyway, time will tell I suppose.

 It's mad...break a leg and the pain can be taken away with tablets. Lose a parent and you have to suffer it. Hmpf.

 

 

[MayFGL]

Seth and Nutella: I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose our parent(s). I was where you are at 15 months ago. I didn't feel like going on another day or eating without my mom. It's still very fresh for you. I still cry and there are days where I'm okay and there are days when I just cry my eyes out. I have her picture next to the computer and she's watching me.

I was mom's main caretaker. She "d" from a massive stroke. She was always a strong. Watching mom take her last breath will never be forgotten. Watching mom had a little belly to skin and bones was very hard to grasp. Mom was on a feeding tube for about two weeks and then was transferred to hospice. Upon arriving at hospice, the feeding tube came off. She starved for two weeks without food or water. This part I hated!!

Just take it day by day. Everyone grieves differently. Some takes longer than others. Please don't rush it. Take your time to grieve. Take care.

May

[NewMorning]

I'm sorry for you loss Seth and Nutella.  I lost my Dear Mother 5 months ago and can't imagine going on without her.  I too am in my mid-fifties, but I've been hiding out from 'real' life since she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in November and I know I must move on.  However, I don't want to move on without my best friend and can't imagine how to do 'life' without her! 

I too feel 'suicidal' on some days even tho' I don't want to die and I know that is the LAST thing my Mother would want!!  This grief just sucks so bad and it's not anything we get over I don't think--it's just something we need to learn to deal with.  People have been greiving their dead forever, and somehow we need to learn to go on.  

That said, it's very early in the grief stage to do that, so I would recommend that you be very kind to yourself, and know that there is no time limit in how you deal with this tremendous loss.  Just take one day a time and see a counselor if need be.  I don't know any other way to get thru this except by leaning on God with whatever faith that I have and letting time heal the huge hole in my heart.

Take Care and know that others are greiving along with you--we are not totally alone. 

NewMorning