What do I do?? advice needed ASAP!!!!

[mariesgirl1953]

Hi everyone, how is everyone doing? So sorry I haven't been online or posting in so long. But I have read some of your posts. Just havent had the time to reply..

I have just got home from visiting my nucle in South East London on Saturday. Its been a week since I went today. I went for four days - had a great time. My husband has been of work so it was really nice to get away for a break just for myself. (I know that sounds very shelfish ) but seriously I needed the break badly.. I'm desperate to go back though... Really really am... My auntie came with me. It was a surprise for my uncle and he was overjoyed - I mean absolutely overjoyed and I was so happy to see him so happy and his partner. She is so so kind and such a down to earth person, they both are. (My auntie who came with me is my mam's older sister, and we went over to London to see her younger brother, my uncle. He is from Dublin, Ireland but has lived in London 41 years and loves it.)

When I was over there - he gave me sound (meaning great; fantastic , ect) advice about my husband... I want to devorice him... I'm not happy at all... But he said (and I agree with him) if they help do this, (devoice him) and I turn around six months to a year or so later and take him back, they will never help me again... That fair imp. Very fair. I didn't really understand what he meant and go v upset but then I asked him again the next night what he went and he said "if we help you, don't throw it back in our faces cause you be on your own" thats fair enough... I won't, I don't have any intentions to do so. Like I have to think about this - make sure it's what I absolutely want 100% like when he asked me was I happy I answered "no" instantly and when he asked me "are you 100% sure" I answered "yeah" immediately. Like, ive been thinking this over & over & over & over... And I'm almost 200% sure its what I really do want....

But.... I'm afraid of the repacussioms... Like,, if I do this, and then a week later realize Ive made a terrible mistake what do I do? Like I'll be in **** basically... Uuugh I'm so stressed!!!! My auntie has given me sound advice also... I usually go over to her house every second week and stay over. And we chat. But what I tend to do is moan about himself and when I am given advice on what to do - I do the opposite... I know, its not worth there time or effort talking to me at all.... But there the only people (family I have left) like I used to talk to my mam about absolutely everything, and she would give me great advice BUT she would go and speak to my husband where as my family can't. They'll be told by him that "there interfering* which is a load of b/s but that's what they will be told... *sigh* ugh I don't know what to do... My family come first before my husband... I know that sounds awful.. But I can't and WILL NOT choose my husband over my family. He is controlling mentally. When I came home is said "what where you taking about, where you talking about me"? "Don't be letting them fill your head with ****" I answered "yeah, we were talking about you, about how much you work" even when I booked the holiday he even had the nerve to say he'll "go over" with our son and stay in a hotel! Obviously it was so he could go and drink as usual. Like for instance, I cleaned the house from top to bottom this afternoon when I collected my son from playschool and he was still in bed! Eventually... He got up and helped me.. When I was nearly done!

Like, I know my family are sick of listening to the same crap week in, week out about my problems... But... I don't have my dad... so do I have? No one, but them. And if I loose them I may as well just start writing out my will now because that's how I feel... I sent my uncle a message about coming back over and bringing my laptop so he can fix it... Haven't heard anything back as of yet... I think I'm being a bit paranoid but thats just me, I overthink EVERYTHING to the extreme and I mean extreme... I'm worried and scared there p***** off at me.. But why would/should they be right? I dunno... I'll wait a few more days and see... Like he rang me when I got home and asked how I was doing and if I enjoyed my stay so he can't be angry right??

Also with the laptop, my husband keeps saying he bring it down to someone in the pub (where he works) 11 months later and I'm still waiting and if I get it currioured over to London it will cost me at least €200 or more when it would make more sense to fly over again for a few days... I'm just waiting to hear back from him (my uncle)

Please could someone give me advice on what to do, or am I overthinking things as usual, thanks