Too many losses to list

[stulu12]

I don't know where to start..I lost a son when I was 18 I was 6 and 1/2 months pregnant.

 

My brother died in a car crash 16 years ago.. leaving behind at that time a 5 yr old girl, a 3 yr old girl and a 6 mth old girl.  He was intoxicated and was driving. Luckily it was only a one vehicle crash with only him in the vehicle. My brother had just turned 30 I was 24.  He and I were close. We had an older sister who was actually the one to find him at the crash site. She had a terrible time dealing with that. She turned to prescription meds but refused to admit it.

I grew up with one brother and one sister both older than me. I had another older sister but never met her until about four years ago. I always knew I had one but never knew her.

In August My oldest sister Denise called and told me she had bile duct cancer at 51.. She deteriorated fast. 

On January 28, 2016 me, my niece and my next to the oldest sister Donna, who lives close to me went to visit my oldest sister who lives three hours away. She had already entered hospice care and wasn't expected to make it very long. We stayed and visited for hours.. she asked me not to leave but I had to but planned on coming back two days later on the 30th of January.

On January 29th I texted Donna and we made our plans to go on the 30th, the 30th which was my birthday.. I had hoped Denise didn't die on my birthday.. 

On the morning of January 30 about 2:30 am. My Brother in law called to tell me that Donna was being transported to the hospital  she had respiratory issues due to copd and required an inhaler and oxygen.  She became unresponsive and he started CPR. They worked her for about 45 minutes before taking her to the hospital.. where she died. This was such a shock.. she was only 48 and we were supposed to go visit the sick sister that day! So I lost one sister on my birthday just not the one we thought it would be..

24 hours later I got the call that my other sister Denise had died. So now I am 41 years old with no sibilings left.. and only one parent the one parent that I had to put in a nursing home two weeks prior to her oldest child dying.

 

I get so mad and hurt and sad and my anexity level is out the roof.  I don't know how to fix my sadness 

[ModKonnie]

I am so very sorry you've experienced such loss in your life. I've lost many family members, including a sibling and parent. It's so tough. Perhaps you would find support and much needed encouragement in a face-to-face support group in your local community. Do they have grief groups where you live? Many funeral homes sponsor them. 

We will be with you,

ModKonnie

[Josephinabeena]

I'm so very sorry for your losses. I too lost all of my siblings. One of my sisters was hit by a car in 2004, only 3 months after my wedding, and my remaining 2 sisters died together of a drug overdose in January of 2015. I began a masters program a few weeks before my 2 sisters passed together and I have not really had the opportunity to really mourn them.  I finally thought I was ok from my first sister's death, and then they died. 

All of my sisters died suddenly without warning so there was a lot of shock that masked a lot of the grief. The only thing I can advise is don't try to fx your sadness. It can't be fixed. It really really sucks but the only thing that will make anything better is if you let it in more. The more you allow yourself to feel the pain, the faster you will become accustomed to it's presence. It never goes away, you just get used to it being there. 

Grief and mourning are exhausting so make sure you give yourself time to recover physically. I'm still dealing with headaches all the time and insomnia. A year and a half later. This sucks. 

I hope you are able to come to terms with your losses.  Be well.