Members shaneysmom Posted August 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 http://tcr.rrmods.com/Gandalf0444downloads/Other/shane.wmvHi, All. I wanted you all to know that I have lost my will to live on July 20, 2009....the baby 3 week old kitten whom I bottle fed (who then turned into a 28.5 lb darling) is no longer with us. He had a horrid death from a painful urinary obstruction and then became septic. He never cried or acted in pain, until very late Saturday night/Sunday AM...in fact he was running and jumping chasing a moth earlier Saturday!!!! As you can see the video, he was VERY close to me, this is how we slept every night....I feel as if my heart has been ripped out. I have been throwing up since 6 :30 AM. The hospital had APPARENTLY unblocked him successfully as of Saturday night at 10 AM.....he apparently was so heavy partly because he was carrying around POUNDS of crystals in his bladder. THEY WERE STILL COMING OUT THIS AM. The vet says that what usually takes her 2-3 easy minutes to unblock took over 45 Minutes! He had a block off 7 years ago, and has been on meds ever since, we thought he was fine with the meds! What a shock! This has been going on for 7 years!!! He always held his urine for long times, thought it just was uncomfortable after he passed that one 7 years ago...Now I know he was in pain. Anyway, overnight (as I said, at 10 PM the nurses were loving his goofy playfulness and couldn't tell me enough how sweet/loving he was) But later in the eve/morning...from the longer than normal surgery, his OBVIOUS obesity, and us not knowing he had a problem for so long...he apparently turned blue and couldn't breath - he had water in his lungs. They tried lasix and things to help him, but called at 6 AM, and asked if I wanted to put him down....I raced in, and it wasn't even my Baby Shane I saw. He was lifeless, his eyes were rolling up in his head, his mouth was opened wide and he was panting for air and he was in an oxygen tent. As soon as the door was opened he began to struggle to breath. He didn't care that we (mikey and I) were there, he was in so much pain. Shane used to purr if I just turned OVER in bed....just ANY touch he was THAT loving. He didn't/couldn't. I think he MAY have tried but choked on all the fluid coming up into his throat. I couldn't stand anymore. Well, it is 11 AM, I have not slept in three weeks, and don't know if I can now. Shane has been my purring pillow for over 10 years. Literally I would concentrate on his purr and it would relax me, make me forget the world and put me to sleep. I don't know how long it will take me to sleep again. His brother and sister, and actually even the DOG are totally freaked out by him being gone. NOBODY is eating!!!! I think his sister will die of a broken heart.... they were like one cat - sis was bottle fed as well.... they keep turning their heads to see if he is jogging in for food. I don't know if either one will last long without one of the most loving cats I have ever known. I love you Shane, and will NEVER forget you. Never....Goodbye my sweet Baby Shane.... Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterfly13 Posted August 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Pam-I am so so sorry that you lost your kitty,I can totally understand the pain you are feeling.I lost my cat last July,he was only 5.His death came a few months after losing my older cat,and only 1month after suddenly losing my mom.He was my little comfort buddy.Right before my mom died she said to me-you love that cat so much,I hope I'm not around if something ever happens to him.Well,just 2months later,they were both gone.I felt like I was going to lose my mind after Sonny died.He was the only thing helping me get over my moms death,he was the only reason I got out of bed in the morning,I couldn't believe that God had to take him too.His death was sudden too-like your little guys.He started breathing funny,we found out he had fluid in his lungs.I drove him an hr.away to a specialty vet,they called me that night,said he was doing ok,but than came that dreaded call in the middle of the night-he coded.They brought him back,but told me he would just die later,so I had to let him go.Like you,I couldn't eat for the longest time.walked around in a fog.My other cat cried every night for his buddy. I can still cry just thinking of him,although time has helped make the pain not so raw.I have since adopted 3 kittens.The last one looking and acting so much like my Sonny that it's scarey.I say it took 3 cats to help me fill the void of that one special one.I haven't been able to watch your video yet(comp.problems)but I will.I will also keep you im my prayers!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterfly13 Posted August 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Pam-I was able to watch your video(I'm still crying)what a handsome cat Shane was!!!!!He was a lucky cat to have been loved sooo much,some cats never have an ounce of that love in their lives.Even though his time here was short,he was lucky to have been loved so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shaneysmom Posted August 11, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Thank you for your support. I have spent the whole day crying on and off. I feel like my guts have been ripped out. I love my others, but they aren't my support system as he was. Now the two remaining siblings won't even SLEEP together, when all they did was stick together for 10 years! The dog panics every time someone leaves the house in case they don't come home.I feel like such a jerk, but have suffered so much loss/pain this year, and he was what made me get through it. EVERY day he made me smile.... How do I get through losing him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterfly13 Posted August 11, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Pam,It will take alot of time,like I said,it has been over a year and I still miss my boy so much,it hurts.Like you said,I have others,and I love them to death,but my Sonny was my special boy.You may never find that in another cat.They all have such unique personalities.Sonny had the sweetest soul ever.It took my other cat about a month before he stopped crying for his buddy.Every time he would cry-so would I.I know you have awful memories of his last day-so do I.I remember driving Sonny an hr.away to the vet,every now and than he would make the most gut wrenching meow-it broke my heart.He would look at me as if to say -why aren't you helping me?The only thing that has helped over this past year is knowing that I gave him the best 5yrs.ever!I loved that little cat more than anything.If only every cat out there had the love we gave ours-if even for a min.they would be lucky.Give yourself time to grieve your little friend.You lost a family member,it will take time to heal from that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angel44 Posted August 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 i am so sorry also, but at least he had a life of love and not pain - he was never experimented upon or treated cruely - take please in that you gave him the best you could - hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shaneysmom Posted August 16, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply.....I have been so depressed and shaken to my core, I am seriously considering going to an inpatient depression facility for awhile. But am too worried about my OTHER animals. I am of no use to anybody here, and of no use if I go to a hospital....It's a lose/lose situation. The other siblings are much less loving....although I TRY to put them together every night as they USED to sleep.....but nobody likes anyone else anymore. It is my worst nightmare coming true.I appreciate your thoughts, prayers and kind words. I will think about them as I decide what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members maddysmom Posted August 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2009 I hope you are doing better. I am so sorry you have been in so much pain.I had my baby kitty Maddy for 15 years and we were best friends and always there for each other. You have to know how lucky you were to have had love like you had. Please do not be hard on yourself . xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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