I didnt kiss him bye that morning

[Gina S]

It was 2 weeks yesterday. I was running late for work I wish I would have took 5 seconds to kiss him bye. I called him ànd no answer at lunch and again when I got off work.I got the call after I got home. He was on his motorcycle. In the 6 years we have been together we have been across States on that thing. He died 6.2 miles from home. I'm not sure how I am sopost to be feeling or acting. Sometimes I'm ok sometimes not so much. I just keep trying to forgot him I know that's might not be healthy but I can't stand to think of him. This deep loss and this deep sadness is overwhelming. Its like a cold dark ocean of sadness ,loss and confusion it's  pouring down on me filling up my lungs I can't breathe. 

[Gina S]

 I am so angry I don't know why I'm angry I'm just so angry I could eat the face off of anybody what is wrong with me.  I have always been a mellow sweet nice person but I'm so angry my family doesn't understand I have no one to talk  to. My family wants to love me there so good to me but they don't understand.  I have no reason to be angry and I'm so damn angry.  I feel like I'm losing my mind.  maybe I do need to talk to a grief counselor I don't know if it's normal it's been two and a half weeks.  I just feel like nobody can explain why I'm so angry I'm so disgusted I'm so mad.  I'm mad at him I'm mad at God I'm mad at everybody

 

 

[Gina S]

 I feel alone I feel mad I feel empty it's just been two and a half weeks I know these are probably normal feelings but it feels so overwhelming and deep I don't feel like to me

 

 

[green7]

Gina S, 

Im so very sorry for your loss. You're not losing your mind. It's been only two weeks and it's normal to feel that way. You have the right to be mad, to be furious. To feel whatever you need to feel. Be mad, be sad, cry all you need. Unfortunately it's hard for your family to understand, they're trying to help, they just don't know how. Nobody knows how you feel, how deep and exhausting the pain can be. I lost my boyfriend almost two months ago and I'm still mad, mad at everyone, at him, at God, at me. I cry everyday, and sometimes I can't think about him, because it's so painful. You need to talk to somebody. I have been seeing a counselor and it helps a little. At least I can tell her how I really feel. They won't give you the answer, there is no answer, there are not right words that can ease your pain. But talking to someone who listens, seems to help. At least a bit. Feel free to message me if you need to talk to somebody. I know you feel lonely,I do too, but you're not alone. I've found a lot of support here. 

[sozza]

Hi i known how you feel .I feel the same i lost my partner 7 months ago . I cant move forward i keep thinking of the past then i get so angry because i want it back again .. I miss him so much . I to cry every day . I dont want to do any think. I just wish he was still here with me . 

[Alina0815]

The way I feel is so so similar to you. First off I'm very sorry for your loss. I too didn't kiss my boyfriend goodbye that morning. I texted him at 9:03 and asked where he had gone. He said he had taken his motorcycle to the rental car place because he forgot his title there. At 9:28 a.m. He was speeding and lost control and hit a curb. It's been slightly over 3 months and I'm still such a mess. I haven't gone to speak to anyone but I've been thinking lately that I should because I can't live like this anymore. Everything hurts all the time. I'm not an open person at all, what I'm writing right here is one of the few times I've opened up. I put on fake smiles but to be completely honest, I'm fighting back tears all day still. I don't feel like the same person anymore. They say time heals but so far I feel the same that I did from the first day and everyday after that. The only difference is that now it's just that much more real. It really happened..gets me every time.