Members Rakesh Monga Posted April 29, 2016 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2016 At age 64, my Mom passed out while sitting on her dining table solving Sudoku puzzles. She was prononced dead on arrival at the hospital within 10 minutes of passing out (off a sudden cardiac arrest with no prior coronary heart disease detected despite an active lifestyle) . Almost all of us lose our parents some day I know but I cant get round how soon and suddenly this happened without any chance to fight back. A bypass or an angiography in time could have helped her survive longer, with minimal loss to quality of life, like in case of most people with a coronary heart disease. My Dad was sat across the table from her when she collapsed and rushed her to the hospital to be given the bad news and should be the most shocked. Living over in the UK I could only get here (India) 2 days from the death and apparently he had broken down several times before that and also when i finally got to hug him as well as after concluding the last rites. He and my brother, however, seem to have jumped back head long into work from day 5 and are using it as their diversion. I am however unable to find a diversion in work. I know that we all have/need to move on but at the moment I simply cant. I have to leave back for the UK in a couple of days and don't want to. But with 2 kids ( one in school and the other an infant) and a wife, all of whom accompanied me to India and with an international family business to run, this isn't really an option. How do I muster up the courage to continue with my responsibilities and who do I lean on? My wife takes care of the kids as well as works in the business. It would be unfair for her to also have to take care of me. Though my brother and Dad appear stronger than me, they as grief stricken and shocked, I simply cannot let me become their concern on top. Its the first grief of any kind I have to cope with without my Mom to support me and it is the worst grief I have ever known in my fairy tale life ( it is how any difficulties of the past now seem) so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Simran Posted April 30, 2016 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 well diving into work only works for so long. I myself have not been able to work for the last few months.... I try to read other people's experiences and now am seeing a therapist ....nothing in life is as painful as losing our parents ... And life does feel like a fairy take in comparison to losing our parents. My mom was the love of my life ....I feel like a part of me died when my mom passed .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Simran Posted April 30, 2016 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2016 You could look up Tom zubas work on ytube.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rakesh Monga Posted May 1, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2016 Thanks Simran, His interview was really heart wrenching and his courage rather inspiring. Our lives going forward have to have a purpose greater than work. A way in which, we can give back and continue the legacy of the parent we have lost who would have sacrificed anything for us in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MzSunny Posted May 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2016 My brother jumped right back into work too and while I am working now, I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I am currently the sole provider of my household with a young child, as my husband went back to school for a year. The pressure feels like too much. I think if you feel like you need to take some time, you need to make space for it. I am going to keep trying the next few weeks and see how it goes, but if it becomes too much, we are just going to have to figure it out. So sorry about your Mom. Mine was only 61. Too young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rakesh Monga Posted May 5, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted May 5, 2016 61 is really young. I guess age is just a number. When an otherwise healthy person especially like a Mom that one is always closest too disappears from the face of this earth, all of a sudden, it is hard to accept and simply move on. If I stay away from work I am going to struggle. I have to be as 'normal' as possible as soon as I can. My wife says I am exactly like my Mom so I am really what's left of her with my brother and father being very different personalities, who loved her nonetheless. I can't claim my grief is the greatest as there are many whose grief is equal or greater still. I hope we all make it to the light at the end of this tunnel some day soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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