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I'm in denial about my mam's passing


mariesgirl1953

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mariesgirl1953

My beautiful, amazing kind hearted, joyful, bubbly mam *passed away* on October 28 last year. It will be six months on Thursday and I still cant believe its actually happened/happening.... I'll do absolutely anything to have her back, be with her or go back and change things. I know myself I haven't even begun to accept her *death* to me she is in the grand canyon in utah the place she visited with my dad and she absolutely loved it beyond words. I'll do absolutely anything to have my beautiful coreagous mam back I miss her beyond life itself and can bearly function through out the days..  I need her back to tell her how much I adore, love and miss her.

When my son does be in bed I sit and watch tv trying desperately to avoid the reality of this heart wrenching situation. My dad has her wedding & engagement ring. Since I'm an only child I think [and everyone in my family has said this too] that I should at least have her engagement ring. But my dad says its all he has left of her....

That's not 1 bit true he has so much stuff belonging to her, experience jewelry etc that he won't show me. All I want is one of her rings to wear around my neck on a chain.... He also has all of her money etc [that part doesn't bother me at all] im not interested in the money just how my dad is acting... I also know he is grieving but he told me he's gotten over my mam [his wife of 26 years!] And he's gotten over her!! He constantly gives out about her to friends etc that she never helped herself.. That's a LIE I saw how much pain she was in and she's under top consultants and I have also been to appointments with her. Including my dad. So I don't know what the **** he is talking about.

I always made sure she was ok and of I had have been there I know 2000% she'll be still here today... I love and miss her beyond words... I just want her back... I want to die and be with her.. I really really really do.

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Mariesgirl, I know how hard it is. It's been nine months since my mum died and everyday is torture without her. Mostly I feel numb, but tonight in the shower I cried like a baby on my knees. I'd give anything too just to be with her. This pain of grief is so unbearable and at times I don't know how to get through another minute. Maybe your dad is in denial, surely he can't be over your mum that soon. The very fact he doesn't want to part with her rings tells me he still misses her. But I don't think it's too much to ask if you can have something of your mum's to wear. I wish I could take away all our pain, but all we can do is be here for each other.

Sending a big virtual hug your way 

Lisa 

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mydeepestthoughts

Mariesgirl... I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother..death is the greatest enemy of mankind. I lost my mother, my closest friend, and it was devastating.  A scripture that helped me to cope, and refocus was a promise that Jesus made at John 5:28,29 which reads "Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29: and come out!
It brings comfort to know that death is not the end of life, and our loved one's are asleep. Eccl 9: 5 says "For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing at all."

So Jesus promised that he would awaken those asleep in death. Can this really happen? Wouldn't we all like to be reunited with the ones that we love?  If you would like to know how you can benefit from this promise, and how it can help you cope with the death of your loved one, please click the following link

https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/know-truth-tract/know-the-truth/

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I am so sorry you lost your mother. I lost mine this year and my father has been a nightmare. My mother divorced him in her last few months of life in order to protect me from him financially. It's so heartbreaking when you aren't getting what you need from a parent. Especially when you just lost one. The best thing I have found is removing myself from his life for the time being. Until I heal more from my moms death. It's just too hard right now. Do whatever it takes to keep going. I think about dying all the time just to be with my mom again. 

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