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Wife would be happier without me

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I'm not sure why, but think I just need to post a story to vent a little. I have been married for a little over 5 years. I married the most amazing person in the world. We always get each other so well, have so much fun together, and she's so sweet and beautiful!!! We spend every single second we can together. She has stuck with me throughout 6 short deployments to Afghanistan, so we try and make up for it by always being together and holding onto each other. However I've continued to hurt her throughout the years. I've been trying my absolute best to be good to her but it's always something. She deserves the most amazing live, she has never done a bad thing in her life and she deserves the same in return. Yet I've continued to hurt her. She continues to say she will not leave me because she loves me so much. I love how much she loves me, I really do, but I really do believe she would be happier in life without me. Even then she makes me, and always has so unbelievably happy that I don't know if I could go on without her. Due to this feeling I can't help but to think to end it all. I don't know if I would ever have the nerve to do it, but I feel like it would be the only way to make her happy in the long run. Plus on top of this I'm having health issue that may be causing me to be forced out of the military, still have to complete the test to determine what they want to do. This would devastate me as well as I joined at 17, it's all I've ever known and I'm almost halfway to retirement. Then if I do get forced out we have like no money to fall back on. Like I said I don't know if I could ever do it to her and my large caring family but it just kills me inside. Just needed to vent is all, sorry to waste the time of anyone who may have spent the time to read this.

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You need counseling immediately! Go to your VA place or seek help. I am no expert, but it sounds as though you are suffering from some type of depression or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Your guilt over hurting your wife is ruining your relationship. I am trying not to read anything into this, but when you say you are hurting her and continue to do so--are you talking about cheating on her? physically hurting her or what? 

We will be here with you,


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