needing advice, loss of my loving partner of life & father of children

[FOREVER-MISSING-MY-LOVE]

HELLO, I AM SEARCHING FOR ADVICE OR HELP IN MY SITUATION THAT I AM IN… IF ANYONE COULD OR WOULD OFFER THEIR THOUGHTS THAT WOULD BE GREAT OF YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH IN ADVANCE.

 

WE HAD A HORRIBLE TERRIBLE LOSS IN OUR FAMILY (WE ARE  A SAME-SEX-COUPLE) AND WE HAVE LOST HIM TO THE ANGELS ABOVE AND HE IS NOW WATCHING OVER US AND SHINING BRIGHT DOWN ON US EVERY DAY, HE WAS HURTING ON EARTH TO MUCH HE THOUGHT AND HE TOOK HIMSELF OUT OF OUR WORLD DOWN HERE ON EARTH AND HE WANTED TO GO FLY HIGH WITH THE ANGELS AND LAY DOWN ON THE CLOUDS ABOVE, HE IS MY LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY EVERYTHING IT IS SO VERY HARD TO GET THRU EVERY DAY WITHOUT HIM HERE WITH US, AS WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR OVER 13 YEARS,  AND I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AMAZING LIFE TOGETHER AS WE JUST ADOPTED TWO CHILDREN AND BOUGHT A NEW HOUSE AND WERE GETTING SETTLED IN THE HOME WHEN THIS HAPPENED, AND NOW IT IS SO HARD EVERY DAY, NOT ONLY FOR MY, FOR THE KIDS ALSO, THE MOST HORRIABLE THING IS OUR YOUNGEST SEEN “ “ EVERYTHING “ “ SO IT REALLY BOTHERS HER ALLOT, AND WITH OUR OTHER DAUGHTER SHE WAS AT A DANCE CLASS, WHEN IT HAPPEND, AND IT BOTHERS HER ALSO JUST NOT IN THE SAME WAYS AS THE OTHER.

AND WITH MYSELF- I TRIED MY HARDEST MY HARDEST I TRIED SO HARD TO HELP HIM DOWN AND I COULD NOT DO IT, I TRIED, AND TRIED, AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT HIM DOWN IT WAS TO LATE, AS WHEN HE DID IT I WAS DROPPING THE OLDEST OFF AT HER DANCE CLASS - WAS GONE FOR NO LONGER THAN 40 MINUTES. AND WHEN I GOT HOME I COULD NOT FIND HIM ANYWHERE, AND THEN I FOUND A NOTE THEN I STARTED SEARCHING AND FOUND HIM IN THE GARAGE, IT WAS AND IS THE MOST HORRIABLE THING I HAVE EVER IN MY LIFE SEEN AND CAN NOT IMANGE THIS ON ANYONE AND I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN ANYTHING I WISH I DID, I WOULD HAVE HELPED AS I LOVED HIM WITH AND STILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND MY EVERYTHING, HE WAS AND IS MY EVERYTHING, AND NOW IT IS JUST SO SO SO HARD TO BE IN THE HOUSE THAT WE SHARED TOGETHER, DRIVE THE CAR WE SHARED, DO ANYTHING ON MY OWN ETC…

MY QUESTIONS I NEED ADVICE ON ARE;

1. SHOULD I MOVE AND START OVER?

2. SHOULD I GET NEW STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE? GET RID OF THE OLDER STUFF AND GET NEW STUFF (FURNITURE, CAR, ETC.)

3. WHAT CAN I DO TO HAVE THESE FLASHBACKS GO AWAY?

4. HOW CAN I COMFORT THESE AMAZING KIDS THRU THIS IN THIS HOUSE IF WE STAY HERE(AS MY YOUNGEST WILL NOT GO IN OUR BACK YARD AT ALL OR NEAR THE GARAGE AS I DONT BLAME HER AND I DONT WHAT SO EVER FORCE HER TO DO IT EITHER)

5. HOW CAN I HELP THEM FEEL BETTER TO GET THRU THIS?

 

NOW MY THOUGHTS;

 

I THINK I SHOULD MOVE.

START OVER FRESH, AND GET NEW STUFF AND HAVE NEW SURROUNDINGS AND OF COURSE HAVE PICTURES AND MEMORIES OF OUR FAMILY TOGETHER BUT BEING SOMEWHERE NEW I THINK WOULD HELP COPE WITH THINGS AND GET US MOVING AND STAY POSITIVE THOUGHTS GOING.

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

ANY THOUGHTS?

AND ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HUGELY APPRECIATED I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET ADVICE ON THIS FROM SOME OTHERS AND SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO HANDLE THE SITUATIONS I AM IN….

 

please any advice would help and thank you much in advance i do say again,.

RIP MY LOVE, YOU WILL BE FOREVER MISSED AND ALWAYS N’ FOREVER LOVED. ~FLY HIGH ABOVE AND REST WELL MY AMAZING EVERYTHING, PLEASE WATCH OVER US DOWN HERE ON EARTH AND GUIDE US INTO THE RIGHT WAYS OF LIFE PLEASE, OUR GIRLS LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND STARS N BACK AND TO THE MOON AGAIN, AND THEY MISS YOU AND TALK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY MY BABY, FOREVER LOVING YOU!!!!

[satsky]

I lost my father,mother and husband recently,and even though I knew he was terminal,I anticipated it,and it still turned my life upside down.You have been through a

tremendous shock and it is too early to start making plans.Plans will change but your grief and the grief of your children is the priority.We often go crazy with grief,but don't you

think that staying where you are right now will add stability to the kids.I think it's best to leave them in their environment where life is familiar,and grief is so new.Grief will

follow you wherever you go because it doesn't exist within the confines of four walls but in the corners of your hearts.Have the courage to go through this journey and know

that your children need you.You are their world.That should be your goal.And hang in there.Ride the wave,with it's ups and downs knowing that you are still standing

[KensLove]

I recently joined this site because I also lost my husband to suicide, just a few days ago.  I don't have any answers. I am still numb. Just wanted to wish you the best with whatever you do.