Lost 3 family members in less than 2 months

[3lossess]

My dad passed away suddenly on December 14th. His funeral was on December 19th. My grandfather passed away on December 20th. My sister-in-law didn't die but was arrested for a terrible crime in January and may face up to life in jail. Two weeks ago my stepmom asked my brother and I to pay her $40K (out of our own personal accounts) to cover foolish financial decisions she made after my dad died; one of them being paying for my dad's funeral that she banned my mother from attending (my mom didn't do anything to deserve this). My sister-in-law managed to rack a huge amount of debt unbeknown to my brother and this past week I agreed to float him several thousands of dollars so he doesn't have to declare bankruptcy. 

I'm 29. I just got back from the doctor and found out I have pneumonia. Ironically, I'm somewhat thankful to have an excuse to escape work stresses for just 2 days. 

I think I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I haven't been able to deal with any of this loss because it just keeps piling up and I am overloaded with work which I thought would be a helpful distraction but it's just too much. I don't know what to do other than cry most nights, put a good happy face on during the day (since sadness alienates people), and "deal with it." I just want people to stop asking things of me and ask me how they can help me for once. I'm planning to turn my phone off for the next two days so people will hopefully stop asking me for things. Has anyone found temporary isolation helpful? 

Apologies for the clinical tone but there's not just enough time to deal with every emotion I have right now. 

[wonderful2night]

I've been right where you are. I also lost my dad very suddenly at the age of 29. (I'm 31 now) Prior to my dad passing my papaw, who was like a father to me, passed just the year before. It is not easy what you are going through right now and I can honestly understand how all of the additional stress may have you feeling like you are at your breaking point. I also think that it is not unusual that you have come down so sick so soon after your dad passed. This also happened too me. 

Its my personal opinion that your body and everything else is trying to tell you to pay attention to yourself and your needs. This is a time when you need to say "no" and "sorry I can just now". Be gentle with yourself. Focus on your personal health both mentally and physically. The grief does get better over time. It's probably hard to hear that right now when your in the middle of all of this. Show yourself love and just know you are not alone. My heart truly goes out to you at this time. Please do not isolate yourself, because we all need people in our lives. Set good boundaries though and make yourself a priority. It will get better. Sometimes we just have to go with the follow.

 

Love and blessings your way.

WonderfulTonight

[jeeenah]

 Been there. Lost my mom at 22 suddenly and my grandfather four months later. Lost my grandmother at 13 and my uncle two months later. After my mother died it was very difficult to watch my dad sufferer.  Years later I lost my father-in-law in 203 and my dad in 2004. While my dad was dying my sister was ill and in and out of The hospital.   My husband was working a temporary job. I could not take off work and was stuck at work while my dad was dying and my sister was ill. I didn't end up getting a raise because of it so I was treated at work like crap too. It was one of the worst times in my life,  sitting at work with my dad calling me crying no I couldn't leave because I couldn't afford to lose my job and then I would really be in trouble although I look back now and should've just said screw them in that worried about it but I didn't know what else to do because I wouldn't of been able to support myself if something happened to my dad because I wouldn't have him to go back home to.  I've been lost one of my best friends in a helicopter crash into thousand seven suddenly and was devastated by that for a very long time as well. Ironically he was at my dads funeral.  My sister has been hospitalized in the hospital for 13 years. It's been very difficult      All I can tell you is to take one day at a time and if you have faith to use God and ask him for strength every single day. And know that this too shall pass. It doesn't help with the pain right then but time will help and time will heal and taking it day by day and realizing that you have no control of anything but yourself     I have since lost my ex-husband, under devastating unexpected circumstances, soon to be my husband again.  I don't know what to do without him. I am no novice to death and suffering and going through things. I lost him suddenly on January 29. I am on short-term disability from work because I cannot cope. It is the most devastating loss I've ever faced.

I am seeking  intense therapy under my insurance, and short-term disability to help me cope because I was having difficulty concentrating at work, using my face, going to church, talking to my priest, and trying to realize that I can only get through each day one moment at a time. 

Having been through similar situations in the fact that you are suffering multiple tragedies and situations,  I can tell you in the past I have gotten through it. And been able to live a normal life. However I am grieving terribly right now due to the loss of my ex-husband and I'm having a very difficult time but I know that I will get past this someday too I just can't feel it right now. 

This too shall pass, it's such a cliché but time will help heal. You have to find ways to do things for yourself.  Otherwise you are just concentrating on the loss, that's what my counselor told me today. And she was right. But it's very difficult. I've also attended many grief groups and sessions. There are also many good websites on grief as well. I hope you find relief I'm happy to talk to you if you want my private email or whatever just let me know. Wishing you peace and healing I know how rough it is. You wonder why some people have it so  difficult, yet if you look around it could be worse, and I'm trying to look at the things I have to be blessed for because I wouldn't want it to be any worse than it is. That may sound stupid but things will get better for both of us we just can't see it right now. Our hearts don't know it yet     Wishing u peace.