Loss of a young kitten

[TheAzure]

I'm fairly new to this whole thing, I'm not much of a 'sharer', if that's the right way of putting it. But I'm kind of losing my mind here and I feel like a little splurge with some like minded people could help. The monday just gone (15/2/16) our little Alexander (the Great) threw up his breakfast and we whisked him away to the vets. She assumed some kind of stomach irritation, we paid for our consultation and injection then took our baby boy home. It didn't stop. Following consulations on the Tuesday and Wednesday Alex ended up being admitted on Thursday morning and was placed on an IV with fluids, as he'd been refusing to eat or drink and was dehydrated. A call from the vet and we were told he had a Urinary Tract Infection and we could pick him up with some antibiotics that evening, which we did. Immediately we felt better just having him in the house. But he was off. He still didn't eat, but he drank and urinated frequently so we put it down to stress and antibiotics.

 

At one point he stumbled out of the kitchen and his eyes lit up at the sight of us, we called him over and he leapt up onto the sofa and sat with us. For just a minute we had our little boy back, but his eyes soon glazed over and he returned to his bed to sleep and lap up water. I stayed up with him until I finally fell asleep at 4am. Awaking the next day he hadn't improved, so off he went to the vets again. A third vet now told us that there was little hope for him and we'd have to make a choice. So we chose the kindest thing, rather than drag out his suffering.

 

The few weeks prior he and his sisters had turned one together, we'd made them a special cake and everything. Now barely a month later we were holding our little man as the anaesthetic went in and we were absolutely powerless. None of the vets could explain his symptoms. His presence in the house was huge, he was an incredibly social and friendly cat. When I'd lost my job he was there to comfort me and he always knew to stay with me. When our hamster passed and I was devestated, he gave me his special face rubs until I felt better. Now he's gone and I can't reconcile his passing. We adopted them in the March of 2015 and not even a year later he was just suddenly gone in the space of 5 days. His face rubs, his trills, his meows and his clumsy headbutts are all gone. Our other four cats, two of which are his sisters and one he had adopted as his own, are just as stricken as we are. I know it's not been long, but at this point I feel cheated and robbed of one of the most special things in my life. The light that's always pulled me out of the dark times and I can't find it.

 

I don't deal with grief well. I swing from red hot anger to stone cold depression in seconds and I've already hurt myself and worn myself down in the past two days alone. His sister Artemis is trying her best, but she was so close to him and looked after him in his last days. I feel selfish for wanting to feel something other than hurt.

 

[ModKonnie]

TheAzure,

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby. It is always so heartbreaking when we lose one, especially when they are young and so new to life. What you are experiencing, as far as grief, is normal. I know it doesn't help at all, but in time, you will begin to feel better 

 

We will be here with you,

 

ModKonnie