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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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mariesgirl1953

almost about to SNAP!!

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Evening all. I have posted in the forum quite a bit and just joined recently after losing my beloved mam. My husband is not supportive at all. All he does is work. Sleep. And drink. He would go out to the pub about 2-3 nights a week and drink himself into a blinder  I'm so fed up. I really am. He has given me jo support since my mam died 2 months ago and blatantly told me to 'get over it' which has hurt me beyond belief. Me and my mam are incredibly close and so are my son and my mam. She's his only grandmother as I would not call his mother a grandmother. she wants nothing to do with him and then buys his love when she sees him (if ever) I hate her. I can't even get my son baptised as my husband won't allow it  but as of now I'm going to do it and fcuk hum. I don't want to be married to him anymore. I'm broken without my mam. Have started smoking also as I just can't cope. Im going to a brevementbcounsellor as soon as I can. Please I don't know what to do. If I try to talk to my husband about anything he won't listen and flys off the handle.

 

 

 

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Hi,  what you are going through its very difficult.  First having to deal with the loss of your mother,  and then not getting the support you need from your mate.  I would like to encourage you to keep trying to keep your marriage vows,  but that would be your personal decision.  But the fact that you are asking for help shows that you have not given up all hope.  Maybe remembering the reasons why you married him can help you reflect on the qualities that you like about him.  You said that the change happened when your mother died.  It could be that your husband is grieving in his own way.  Our even that he just does not know how to comfort you. 
 The Bible actually offers advice in dealing with problems in marriage.  It can be hard to keep our composure when we feel that we are not treated right.  Proverbs 15:1 says that,  “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.”  So even if you are provoked,  maybe a good attitude will help him to calm down and listen to you.
It will definitely help to have family counseling.  That way you both can express your feelings.   I hope that things get better for you both.

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