Members mariesgirl1953 Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 My amazing beautiful mam passed away just over 2 months ago. I'm absolutely beyond devastated. She was my best friend - my soul mate. I literally told her everything. From anything that was bothering me, to how stressed I was with my marraige. She's a type 2 diabetic and haa severe rhumatoyd arthritis. I hated seeing her in pain. Some days she can bearly walk. Amazingly, she always has a smile on her face. I even wash her beautiful hair, cherish our heart to heart chats together. Our days out. Absolutely everything. I just can't believe she's never coming back. Watching her in excureating pain everyday I would have done anything to take her pain away. Shes the most outstanding, incredible grandmother (nana) to my 4 y/o son. She absolutely adores him beyond life itself. He misses her dearly as I do and my dad, and husband.. to me she isn't dead. She's not. I can't deal with it or accept it. I don't want to. She's alive in my eyes. Just on a very VERY long holiday. I can't deal with not having her around... I feel like I'm losing my mind... everything I do everyday is just on auto poilet. I constantly watch TV shows about autopsys, murder, death ect. Me mams death was so sudden, unexpected... I'm devastated without her.... I need her back in my life.. I just can't go on without her... I have an appointment with a brevement counsellor tomorrow evening. My heads so f***** I can hardly think straight these days. My best friend is gone XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisa k Posted January 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Mariesgirl1953, I feel your pain I really do and I'm just so sorry.It feels like life has ended!!I'm 41 turning 42 in march and I have a schizophrenic brother who is 44 that I try and look after.I have no partner,no kids,no friends and feel devastated my best friend in the world is gone.For me it's been six months and i still feel numb and like it is not worth living now.I've been seeing a psychologist for 2 years and my mum dying has made everything so much worse.I'm agarophobic and have an anxiety disorder and there are days i cannot even leave my house.I feel alone in this world now and find no motivation to do the simplest of things.I took care of my mum through her nine month battle with lung cancer and watched her die.Nothing in this world could prepare me for that even though i knew it was going to happen.The only thing keeping me sane is this forum and my psychologist right now as i have no one else to turn to.It's a hard road this grief and it sure feels like punishment but talking to a professional is a good step.Do you have a good support network around you?Family,friends?. I wish you strength and hope on this terrible journey.This forum is a great place to come! Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mariesgirl1953 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Hi Lisa. Yeah I have all my family around me and they are/have been amazing. I now get one day a week to myself where I can go stay with a relative and just have some 'me' time. I plan to do this every week. I am so sorry to hear about your mam x hugs for you. And thank you for your kind words x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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