My best friend won't be there when I get home.

[Chilleff]

In 2002, my brother and his then girlfriend got a little kitten and after a few short weeks decided they didn't want it. This sweet little grey ball of love became mine instantly the moment we met. I named him Reggie Cat. He was my buddy, my baby, my best friend. When I felt like I had no one else in the world (something I feel often)... I always had Reggie cat. When I moved 2600 miles away from my friends and family on the east coast to live by myself on the west, the only thing I had with me was Reggie cat. Reggie cat was my everything.

Eventually our family expanded and I brought Tiggs into the mix. Tiggs and Reggie cat were instant buds (okay... Maybe not instant and maybe not buds all the time). Eventually we also got Stanley. Reggie cat and Stanley never really got to know each other, but Stanley really tried.

I had a great family. Me and my three furry boys.

Reggie cat was 13. He was getting older and while he had some litter box accidents and was skinnier, he had a clean bill of health outside of some arthritis. He still acted like my same boy. He still swatted at my hand to smell whatever food I was trying to eat without letting him smell and taste it first. He still ran and jumped on the door frame after peeing. He still yelled at me with meows for food. He was still my boy... Just older.

In the beginning of December of this year, my mom went into the hospital for kidney failure. Fortunately, she is okay. However, right after she got out my aunt unexpectedly passed away. Normally, I come back to the east for Christmas anyway but my 10 days now turned into 20 days. I was really worried about leaving Reggie... Even considered boarding him, but I knew my friend would take care of him and I thought I'd see him and my other two when I got back.

Monday, the week of Christmas, was the last time I'd heard from my friend. She wasn't sending updates or pictures or anything and by Christmas Eve something didn't feel right. Christmas Day I felt practically sick... I knew something was wrong. December 26 I get a text asking me to call her and I just knew.

My Reggie cat, my companion for the last 13 years, passed away on Christmas evening.

He's been taken to a place to be cremated and I'll be picking up his cremains and a clay paw print on Monday.

The first few days I cried and I slept and I tried to keep myself distracted. I'm still on the east coast! My parents offered to send me home early and to a point I wanted to. I wanted to see my Reggie again... But he was already gone... Did I want my last image of him to be his 2 day old dead body? So I stuck it out.

But tonight I'm suffered a sleepless night. I haven't even had the chance to fully grieve. My baby is gone and I am not with my other cats. Was it my fault? Was it just his time?

My friend said he was doing good Christmas morning and found him curled up - seemingly sleeping - in his favorite spot in the evening. She believes he died peacefully and she allowed my other two to say goodbye. It was really beautiful what she told me. She's also said my other boys seem to be good, eating and playing and putting and happy.

I love Stanley and Tiggs and when I get home I will spend the weekend with them and grieve with them. But Reggie cat was special. I always told him I didn't know what I would do without him. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. I don't know how I'm going to go home and walk into my apartment to only two cats. I can't believe he's gone. I never got to say goodbye... I wasn't even home!

The day before I left I called out of work so I could spend the day with my boys. It was a good day. The morning I left I spent time with each of them. Petted them. Loved them. Kissed their cute faces. Told each of them I loved them and I would see them when I get back. But Reggie cat is gone. I won't see him when I get back. I know he knew how much I loved him and I know we had a great life and I keep telling myself it was just his time and he knew it would be hard for me to find him... So that's why he waited until I was gone and I was with my family. But How do I cope? How do I deal with his loss? How do I continue on?

In 2003 I lost the human love of my life... My best friend. How I coped? My furry best friend Reggie cat. I can only hope when I get home it'll be ...well not better but I'll be able to grieve and figure out how to sleep and move on.

Until then I'm suffering sleepless nights... And I'm not sure how happy of a new year I'll have... I just want to get home and cry with my boys... My two boys... Because my three boys are now two.

I'm sorry for the ramble. I miss Reggie cat so much and I'm just... Not doing well. And I'm in a hotel in a strange city with my parents to visit my brother and his kids for New Years and all I want is to go home and to grieve. I loved my Reggie cat. He was a beautiful boy.... And I can't believe he's gone.

[Cortiz1]

Chillef, my story is somewhat similar to yours and similar time frame by a few days. However my little one was a dog in reality I called her my princess. She was with me for the holidays unfortunately, an accident happened and I will be going back home with our her. And I myself am scared to go back to that house without her and fully realize she isn't there. Our pet's are more apart of our lives than some can understand, just know that your amazing cat was loved and cared for and had a very happy life that's what is helping me. The paw print is a great thing to have I am getting one for my pet as well. May Reggie rest in peace. Best wishes my friend

[Chilleff]

Cortiz1,

Thank you. I just really want to go home. I know it's going to be hard but I've already been gone for two weeks and Reggie is now gone... And I just want to go home and grieve and not just show an okay face... For my family. My Reggie cat was my world and I will miss him so so much and I'm just trying to remember the happy things and not focus on th sad.