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Lost my dog


Trikein

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::Warning:: This is venting. It is descriptive of a death of a dog. You may not want to read it. I know I didn't want to see it. ::Warning::

 

Her name was Mishka. She was 10 years old. She was my best and only friend. I would sometimes just lie next to her on the floor to be with her. I suffer from PTSD and depression. One week she was happy and playing soccer with me in the backyard, the next week I was cleaning up blood from the floor as I stayed up with her through the night. We think it was septic EPI and some kind of internal bleeding. We had just brought her to the Vet concerned by her weight and was told she was normal for her weight. We tried everything to get her to eat. Pork. Raw beef. Special enzymes. Pumpkin. She wasted away. We finally brought her to the ER Vet and she had a seizure on the way in. The last thing she did was try to smell a pot of flowers, and fell face first into the flowers as she collapsed. They revived her and put her on a drip, but there wasn't much they could do for the internal bleeding so we decided to... end her pain.  I wasn't prepared to see her die. I had prepared myself for her to be dead, but the physical act...no. Was not ready for that. I tried to close her eyes as she passed, and they stuck to her eyeball in a gross way. She lost her bowls and shook for several seconds. 

 

I miss her. It feels like a hot sucking wound in my chest. I woke up when she wined to go out in the morning. She was my alarm clock and shadowed me everywhere as I walked the house. I can't open a door or walk through a dark room without thinking of her. At first I thought I was strong. I had to be strong to support the rest of my family. Now that need is gone and I am empty. I just don't want her to be gone. I want her back. I am so sad. I am sorry if this wasn't very well written. It was just something I had to say. Thank you.

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I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious Mishka. She looks beautiful. I have had two pets die after having them for a very, very long time. It's very traumatic, particularly when the appear to be normal one day and suffering the next. 

 

Your story was well written. You are obviously experiencing tremendous grief. We will be here with you. 

 

ModKonnie

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