Death of my 6 month old kitten

[realpn]

I feel like my soul has been ripped out. It's been 6 days and I cannot stop crying. I had 3 kittens. One of them was very tiny and sick. I spent 3 months and $200 trying to save him. He only weighed 2.5lbs. After giving him 4 different kinds of medication he was beginning to gain weight and starting to play. He slept with me, either by my side or on the end of my bed on a pillow & I covered him up & kissed him goodnight every night.He wanted to go outside so bad but I was fearful because he was so small. But after getting better I let him venture only for a little while. Each time I called Momo to come in he came running. He followed me around like a puppy, always going where I was. Last Saturday he didn't come when I called. I knew something was wrong and I looked & looked. I finally convinced myself about 4am the neighbor had him( they took our dog one night & brought him back the next day!), & I slept for 3 hours. When I woke up he still wasn't there! I saw the other 2 wondering in the woods & thought maybe he was out there. No Momo. I then looked down the road(Hwy)& prayed that was a red shirt I was seeing. When I got over there it was Momo. The only way I could identify him was his leg. I began sobbing uncontrollably & didn't know what to do. It was raining. I had to literally scrap him up with a shovel into a bucket. I made sure all pets were in & began to dig the hard ground in the pouring rain. I could barely see from sobbing. It took me 2 hours to finish. When I finally got done, I turned around & his sister (& companion) was standing behind me with a horid look on its face. It had gotten the door open & came out. Momos sister whines now, she wouldn't have anything to do with me until yesterday. She's laying by me now. I've slept with Momos blanket every night. I had to put the pillow up because it was killing me, & his sister. I need help. I can't stop crying. I literally feel as if my soul has been ripped out! I asked my husband if I could get a baby kitten to take his place& his response was I have enough cats & NOONE could take Momos place. I thought it might help me stop crying. He also said Momos sister was crying to him. I know she's lonely since the others are outside. Please help with ANY advise you have. I feel like I'm falling apart...Thank you from the bottom of my heart<3

In

[ModKonnie]

I am so very sorry about the loss of your kitten. It takes time to move forward from such a loss. I've had several fur babies pass on, and it's never easy. Go ahead and cry all you want, sleep with his stuff and just take time to grieve.

 

ModKonnie

[Yusr]

I’m so sorry for your loss , we lost our 6 months old yesterday suddenly sick and died away from us in the vet , I can’t stop crying , don’t know how to move in and his brother is calling him constantly and trying to dig the doors thinking he’s on the other side , intolerable loss and broken heart. You cry every time you see his favourite snack and think of the things that you should have done now rather than assuming he will be with me for the next 15 years, I wish your heart and ours will mend soon 

[KayC]

7 hours ago, Yusr said:

I’m so sorry for your loss , we lost our 6 months old yesterday suddenly sick and died away from us in the vet , I can’t stop crying , don’t know how to move in and his brother is calling him constantly and trying to dig the doors thinking he’s on the other side , intolerable loss and broken heart. You cry every time you see his favourite snack and think of the things that you should have done now rather than assuming he will be with me for the next 15 years, I wish your heart and ours will mend soon 

I am so sorry for your loss.  It is so hard that we cannot go into the vet with our babies now (my puppy suffered a dog attack Monday and I sat out in the parking lot for hours wondering how he was!).

Yes, our routines with them become triggers, everything a reminder of their absence.  I lost my Arlie  1 1/2 years ago and Kitty (25 years old) just 4 1/2 months later.  It is one of the hardest losses I've suffered, akin to losing my husband nearly 16 years ago.

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm

I hope this video brings you some comfort and peace.