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What are some of your most treasured memories of your mom/dad?


silverkitties

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silverkitties

I have a lot of favorite memories of my mom, whom I lost just over a year ago on October 4th.

 

As mom and I have been together for some 52 years, I have a long list of memories...and just thought I would start off by mentioning a few.

 

Sometimes when I get books from Amazon, I think back to a long time ago when I was a tot.  Mom was already ordering books for me,  most of which were from Dr. Seuss, and I always used to enjoy opening up the boxes and flipping through the pictures.   (Even at 52, with multiple degrees, I still like to flip through a book for pictures, LOL: I just did this with a book on the economics of war!) It was even better when Mom read them aloud to me.

 

I remember all of those wonderful visits to downtown Bronx--going to the local department store, which then was Alexander's: even if I got bored looking at Mom's clothes and shoes. We'd either have lunch at Woolworth's or later on, when I was in 2nd and 3rd grade, the local pizzeria. The latter was a real treat on half-days, particularly Fridays; it was such a delight having mom pick me up at school at noon before walking over to have pizza or Kentucky Fried Chicken enroute to the library, where I'd find new books, before heading downtown. 

 

Sometimes, we'd head to the zoo (yes, the famous Bronx Zoo!) or the botanic garden. How I remember the elephant rides and what passed for a petting zoo.

 

But there was nothing like the thrill of heading down to Manhattan on the subway, especially on bright, sunny days...what fun it was to go to the Guggenheim and natural history museums....and yes, more shopping. How I remember the Macy's (still there) and Chock Full of Nuts. 

 

I think what made all of these outings so special was being able to bond with mom. I'll always remember the times when she held me as I got too tired; this is when I was about 3-4. And when I was older, it meant mom would talk with me there and back. (She was usually too busy when we were at home.) 

 

Need to get back to work....but I hope others join in with their favorite memories. It doesn't have to be a childhood memory; it can be as recent as the week before she/he passed.

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silverkitties ... what a wonderful idea for a post!  Thanks for suggesting this.  You and your mom had some good times together.  Those are sure memories to cherish.

 

My favourite memories are from my childhood and teen years.  One of the things that my family always enjoyed doing together was family camping/fishing trips.  We have fished at some really beautiful clear water northern lakes ... the forests, rocks, hills were breathtaking.  My mom would always pack a lunch of buns, cold cuts, potato salad, etc.  My parents, sister, brother and I would fish from early morning until late afternoon and when we got back to the camp site dad would make us burgers on the coleman stove or we would sit around the campfire and bake fish on the open flames, under the stars and just talk and enjoy being with each other in nature.

 

The memories that stand out the most for me is how all of their lives they made special events so special ... birthdays, Christmas', Thanksgivings, graduations, etc.   The thing that I miss the most is the love and such a strong sense of family they instilled.

 

I could go on and on with favourite memoires.  Thanks so much for putting this out there silverkitties.   I look forward to reading others memories here.

 

Cindy Jane

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silverkitties

Thank you, Cindyjane--I wanted to start this because I know when we're grieving, some of us just want to talk about our most cherished moments with our moms and dads, but really have no one around us to discuss them. I have to admit I'm the type of person who's always had waves of nostalgia, even when mom was alive. Now that she's gone, I suppose it's a way of coping with her loss: remembering all the good times and celebrating her life. 

 

You definitely had some awesome outings--I envy you! When I was little, I used to fantasize about picnicing and camping in beautiful wilderness. I bet you really enjoyed yourself at those gatherings.

 

Meanwhile, you've triggered off one of my distant memories of our picnics by the Hudson river; this was when my dad's relations were living in various parts of NYC and we'd all get together in the late afternoons to have a barbecue. They always felt like a treat. I also have a few distant memories of my dad and his friend trying to fish; they always finished empty-handed :D  Wish my mom were here so I could ask her where we went!

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There are so many memories of mom, I don't know where to begin. I remembered when I went walking to Shopper's World, Woolworth Woolco, Winns and Piggly Wiggly with my mom and my sisters. Yes, those were the days. Growing up we never ask to buy toys, not like children now days that want everything under the sun. We were taught to remember where we'd come from. Our grandparents were the ones who helped my mom and 6 siblings to the U.S from China. So, it 7 additional mouths to feed. I came to the US when I was 1 yr old, I'm almost 49.

 

We used to go to Sears where they sold fresh hot peanuts in the shell. Mom or grandpa would always buy some....for me, of course. lol

 

I remember playing with mom. One time when I was maybe 12, mom was standing in front of a glass case in our family grocery store and I snuck up behind her and kneed right behind her knee, so as to make her bend her knee. When I did that, her knee went right through the glass. Oh, ****!!! I felt so bad. I apologized and looked for something to do. Mom and I always played this game. It didn't occur to me at that time when mom's in front of glass. Good thing there was no blood, no cut. Whew!!!!

 

Everytime mom gets mad, she doesn't have to tell us to do chores. We go looking to do something. I really miss her smiles, her laughs, her kisses and her jokes. I remember when she had her first stroke, I took care of her. I think she was in her 60s. She wasn't able to fall asleep and I would turn on Chinese opera tapes softly so hat she can sleep. I took real good care of her. I wouldn't allow her to do any chores, but, just to relax.

 

When I had my first stroke in 2005, mom came to visit me twice a day. Once in the morning before the family went to work and once at night when they got off work. I didn't want mom to leave. I remember mom was able to walk then. How time has changed from then and last year. 

 

We were invited to go crabbing. This was the first time for us. My mom was so excited. When she saw a crab going inside the nets, she made sure it didn't get away. She literally ran into the water not realizing that she was wet. She was like a kid going after a pet. That was unforgettable.

 

When I was a teenager learning how to cook, I'd run back and forth asking mom questions about cooking. Mom was at the store and we had the house right next door. I'd run back and forth asking is it enough water to cook the rice, do you put the onions first, how much oil do you put, etc. I was exhausted. I would always time myself to make sure that the meal would be ready in 1 hour.

 

These are just some memories of mom.

 

 

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silverkitties

May, those are wonderful stories! I know we can't recall every memory at one time; i posted this thread so that we can all reminisce about certain moments--just because there are times when you just want to relive certain recollections and share them with others. I think childhood memories are especially touching because that's when we're learning to love those around us: it helps make us who we are. We remember a lot of those special events like birthdays and parties, but sometimes the little ones too--like when our moms hugged us, read to us, talked with us...

 

I have never heard of Shopper's World or Piggly's; these must be Texas chains! But I do remember Woolworth's and how much fun it was to sit at the counter to have  hot dog and sundae!

 

Did you get excited about shopping then? And go with the expectation that you would have those peanuts? I remember I used to hate and enjoy going to Chinatown. I hated Chinese food with such a passion because mom made it all the time and I associated it with lots of veggies that I'd have to pick out. (More on that in another post). Anyway, we made a deal: if I was good, they'd treat me to pizza. It turned out that there was a very good pizza place in Chinatown that my parents would take me to at the end of the shopping trip; it was right next door to a grocery where they'd buy rice.

 

You must have good memories of the time when your mom had her first stroke--but managed to recover. I bet you felt very relieved and thankful, because that's exactly how I felt at my mom's first one. (Little did I know that was only the first of bad things to come...) I remember feeling happy for that first month she was home. May, it's obvious you took such good care of your mom that she lasted for so long despite all the work she had cut out for her: not to mention your dad! And clearly she took good care of you when you had your stroke.

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What? You don't like Chinese food?  :) Growing up, I sometimes hated it myself...sometimes. I remember I would say, "Can we have hamburgers instead of rice rice rice?" It was a treat whenever we had hamburgers. Instead of buying hamburgers, we made them ourselves. I think my grandparents were overwhelmed because all of a sudden they now had 7 mouths to feed. It used to just be just my grandparents and when they brought us to the U.S. it can be quite expensive back in the days.

 

I don't think mom ever brought us food or snacks. I can't recall. We would go shopping after lunch so it tied us over. We never asked or begged for really anything. I didn't have much toys at all. I didn't mind at all. I remembered mom bought me a kitten toy that squeaks. I loved it. No dolls. I pretended that was my doll. I slept with it and everything a girl would do with a doll.

 

I remembered whenever I got sick, mom would rub Vicks on my back and chest. It felt so good. Mom's hands were chapped and it just felt real good. 

 

My favorite meal was Chinese Sausage and rice or a little oyster sauce on the rice and I was good to go. I never was a picky eater. 

 

Thanks for your kind words, Silverkitties! I'll say it overs and overs. I would do it all overs again in a heartbeat just to have my mom back. Your mom is so lucky to have a daughter like you. You guys had each other while your father wasn't "there".

 

Yes, I was relieved and scared when mom had the first minor stroke. I remembered when mom wasn't able to fall asleep during her first stroke and I put on the Cantonese opera, I kept going in and out the room so many times just to make sure she was okay. I'd say every 5 minutes I'd check 3 times. When she finally slept, I snuck in there and stood next to the bed and just stared at her for a long time and tears rolled down my face.

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silverkitties

MSN, I hated Chinese food until I got to college: then I missed it after my first semester! But I have to admit that even now I will only eat dim sum and Szechuan. Don't laugh but I hate veggies and meat mixed all together. That's why I can't deal with Chinese food, or most Asian foods for that matter. I know--embarassing! My pride in Chinese heritage does not extend to food, LOL!

 

I think I was 8 when my mom made one dish that I especially hated--it was what she called Spanish rice because it was red: it was rice that was mixed w/ ketchup and mixed veg.  Anyway, I sat there for 2 hours and picked out every little piece of onion. She finally gave in and fixed me another meal, LOL! She also got really ticked off when I made vomiting noises. I wasn't pretending--I just hated the smell of Chinese veg. And even in the last few years, whenever mom would fix spinach or broccoli for my dad, I would light candle and she would get very offended.

 

I half jokingly--and half seriously--blame my mom for my height. If she cooked more beef and more protein-laden American cuisine, maybe I'd have more nutrition and be taller! Seriously, I did not start to grow until I was 14: that is, when I started cooking for myself. Made hamburgers and spaghetti nearly every day. TV dinners were a real treat! This is the only thing that has made me borderline average.

 

When it came to toys though, my mom was such a doll. When I was about 5 or 6, she would sometimes surprise me. I remember the one time she got really angry at me one morning, and said she was going out and never coming back again. Well, that afternoon, she bought me several toys, including a miniature oven. Then when I was around 7-8, she not only bought dolls for me but bought and made clothes for them too! We would go downtown nearly every other Friday after school. If I got a 100 on my test, we would get doll clothes. But it turned out that the ones she made for them were even more beautiful since my mom was not only a good designer but a good seamstress too: she had only just learned to sew!  I remember thinking I can't wait to grow up so I can wear glamorous clothes like these dolls. (Never got a chance. When you are short and ugly--thanks to dad's disgusting genes--no one wants to date you: let alone take you to a black tie affair!) 

 

My mom made clothes for me too--I remember the red pleather midi coat she made for me--along with a skirt and vest! I suck at sewing and could certainly never imagine anything like making a coat from scratch with a second-rate sewing machine.  In fact, she made clothes for me all the way through highschool. 

 

She did so much for me over the years...that's why I feel I did not do enough for her the last year. I wish she had at least a few more years, not just for company, but just so I could make it up for her in every way. For all those toys she bought for me. All those clothes she made for me. All the times she sat together and tried to help me with homework; all the times she would read my books so she could quiz me! I wish I had more years with her--cook for her, feed her, bathe her, buy her clothes and anything she liked. During her last year, it was as if she were both my mother and child; I wanted to spoil her like she spoiled me.  No wonder my loss felt so tremendous when she passed. 

 

MSN, we were lucky to have such wonderful moms!

 

P.S. My mom rubbed Vicks on me too when I was sick~

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Hello (I'm new),

 

I lost my mother when I was 16. (3 years ago)

 

I think I will share 3 favorite memories.

 

1. Baking chocolate chip cookies from our favorite recipe book. & having her make us (my sister & I) cucumber salad in the summer.

 

2. Doing yard work with my mom. Like picking up sticks and leaves. Also exploring the creatures under our backyard garden rocks. 

 

3. Going on any family vacations. Our St. Louis trip immediately comes to mind for me, when I was about 11. And our family trip to Niagara Falls a year before her death. (Also the Yellowstone trip the summer she died,  but unfortunately I feel rather guilty about that trip - I remember complaining a lot!)

 

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silverkitties

CClemon, I remember my parents brought me and my paternal grandparents to D.C., Virginia, and the Niagara Falls when I was three: although I can't remember if we visited them on the same trip or separately.

 

The strangest thing is I can barely recall the sights of these actual places; yet I remember one of the hotels and a friend's house that we stayed at! But even then, I am not 100% positive. Many times I wonder if my memories of places from my early childhood (<4 yrs) are real or imagined.  I remember liking the White House so much that I didn't want to leave!  (We returned some 26 years later. And embarrassingly, I still can't remember any of the rooms in the White House--but I do recall seeing the Constitution.)

 

I remember baking cookies w/ my mom a long time ago too: I think we did the most when I was 9 or 10. For some reason after that, many of our cookies turned into baking disasters so we stopped. But I do have many treasured memories of mom and I preparing Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Year's meals, particularly over these last few years. They were so much nicer without all the relatives and general hubbub. How nice it was to just eat in our dining room or kitchen and watch TV afterwards. It's amazing how the simplest things can sometimes delight us most.  

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I've always liked to learn different things from mom as far as cooking goes. I leaned how to do several dim sum appetizers. I learned one time and mom was amazed that I picked it up so quick. 

 

The last thing that I learned to make was Joong or Chinese Tamales. We make that every year. It consist of glutinous rice, choice of meat, Chinese sausage, salted egg yolk, sm dried shrimp and peanut. At first, watching mom make one seemed easy enough. When it came to me making one, boy, it was harder than I thought. We used bamboo leaves to wrap. You really need two hands to do it. And, that's something I don't have.

 

I envy you, Cc and Silverkitties. I never had a family vacation. It was just a one day trip that we drove 3 hours away. WooHoo! :D We had a family business that opened 365 days a year...rain or shine. I just wish my mom and I took a trip and see the world. At least take a trip back to China so that mom could see that changes. Mom and I are the only ones who have not been back ever since we came to the U.S. in 1967. Only if.......

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silverkitties

I know just what you're describing, MSN! My mom used to make them up until she was 60-something; inTaiwanese, they're pronounced ba-tzan. I think she stopped because a friend of her cousin (the one who came to see us right after mom died) was selling them. Why make when you can buy them for a very good price? They sell them in the Asian grocery here too.

 

I love eating them on the first day especially when I haven't had it in a LONG time, but have to admit though that they are hard to eat after the second day.

 

Thinking of this is making me feel depressed about mom...I probably won't have it for a very long time. :(

 

Mom and I wanted to go to China after seeing Crouching Tiger: the scenery was so beautiful! Alas, we never travelled internationally after 2002.

 

Your mom worked so hard, MSN....I wonder if that is what kept her alive for so long? Even if she was married to an ahole of a man,Or perhaps he died young enough to not trouble your family?

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